Behind the Scenes in the Speaker Life
The speaker life is fun and sometimes … funny.
There was the time I packed only sandals and short sleeves for a February women’s event in Arizona. What I didn’t know was that although I was flying into Phoenix (which was 70 degrees and sunny) the retreat was in Flagstaff (where it was 28 degrees and snowing). My toes froze! I think feeling just returned last week.
Another speaker friend confessed that she made it all the way to the airport after an event … only to realize, as she entered security, that she was still wired up with the church’s mic pack!
The stories are as endless as the miles traveled.
But it recently occurred to me that many of you may have never been able to come to a live event. So, this week, we are doing something fun. We’re giving you a tour through a few recent speaking gigs, with takeaways right here in the blog that can help you in life, marriage, and ministry. And as a bonus for our subscribers, we are sharing the entire opening session from one of our marriage events.
If you like what you see, I’d be honored if you’d pass this post along to your adult ministry pastor, women’s event planner, or denominational leadership team. We have select speaking dates available in Fall 2025 and are booking into 2026 now.
Many of our event bookings come through the pipeline of church members who simply read one of our books or blogs or heard us on a podcast.
So here’s the first stop on our tour – a recent women’s event about the biblical habits of happiness.
Find Joy and Rest in the Craziness of Life
We tend to think:
Stressed is normal.
I’ll rest when I’m retired.
I’ll never get off the hamster wheel.
And to that, I say: wrong! We can Find Rest and Find Joy, even in a busy life. Using science and scripture, I teach women how with practical strategies that bring lasting change. No matter the size of the event, there’s nothing more exhilarating as a speaker than to see lightbulbs clicking on in women’s brains across an entire room.
As an example, here is one tip I almost always share at women’s events. It will make a difference in your life today. Ready?
Stop venting.
Aurgh, I know! This is hard. And venting is so tempting to do! But here’s the deal with venting. It’s not helping us “process” in the healthy way we think. In fact, science shows that venting activates the anger system in our brains. Of course, there is a time and place to share difficult life situations with a mentor, counselor, or godly friend who will lead us toward support, care, and prayer.
But once we cross over into complaining or gossiping in the name of “venting,” this doesn’t help us. It hurts us.
The next stop on our tour is the first session of a recent weekend marriage event.
The Secrets of the Happiest Married Couples
Did you know that the happiest married couples keep score? It’s true – just not the way you think! The happiest couples keep score of what the other person gives.
In fact, as a bonus for our blog subscribers, we are including a full session from one of our marriage events, about the secrets of the happiest couples. It unpacks this “keeping score” idea as well as the statistic that Jeff and I get really excited about sharing when we’re leading marriage events. We’ve seen couples get a little teary-eyed, or take each others’ hand when we share this secret.
In our research we have found that a huge percentage of spouses—99.26% to be exact—deeply care about each other. This is true even in 97% of the most distressed marriages! Yes, there are cases where abuse is present. But for the vast majority of marriages, when we choose to believe this fact it allows us to choose hope, grace, and the benefit of the doubt rather than give in to the sort of suspicion and pessimism that creates a self-fulfilling, negative cycle.
Believing the truth creates a self-fulfilling positive cycle, instead!
The final stop on our tour is a recent event for pastors and church staff, to encourage those leaders who are always so good at encouraging the rest of us.
Ministry Is Worth It!
Ministry is hard, isn’t it? Sometimes ministry leaders find themselves secretly wondering: Is it worth it?
I recently got to speak at a leadership event for denominational ministry leaders in the Southwest, and when I made the following statement, you could almost hear a collective exhale: “Ministry is worth it, and I am going to prove it to you.”
A wave of relief swept through the room. It was palpable.
I worked hard on this talk, unearthing credible statistics on everything from the likeability of pastors’ sermons (it’s high) to the percentage of people who view their congregation as vital and alive (at 82%, it’s also high)!
But my favorite statistic of all was this: churches strengthen marriages. What church leaders say from the pulpit, do in discipleship ministries, and say during pastoral counseling sessions is making a much bigger difference than they’ve imagined. Contrary to popularly cited, incorrect data, the divorce rate is not the same in the church as it is in overall culture—it’s not even close. In fact, among those who attend church, the divorce rate drops 25-50% or more.
The work of ministry matters. Real hope—data-driven hope—helps us keep going.
I would love to come encourage your women, your married couples (Jeff and I), or your denominational/area/network leadership gathering with this and other findings from science and scripture.
- If you are interested in exploring a booking, please reach out to my speaking agent Nicole Owens at [email protected].
- Please feel free to forward this blog along to event planners in your church.
- In the meantime, I hope this week’s resources encourage you to keep finding hope—in life, in marriage, and in ministry!
We keep things entertaining and equipping, meaning we never let audiences leave an event without simple, doable steps they can take right away. Everything we share is rooted in data and biblical principles. And these days, I always—always—check the weather forecast for where I’m going.
-Shaunti
If you are interested in having Shaunti bring research-based strategies, practical wisdom and biblical principles to your next event, please contact Nicole Owens at [email protected].
On our podcast, I Wish You Could Hear This, Jeff and I offer proven steps to help you thrive in your life, faith and relationships. In other words, we’ll offer the practical help you’ve grown accustomed to right here in this blog space. You’ll take away specific steps that help you today. Listen, follow, and share with your friends on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify and other platforms.
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More from Shaunti’s Blog:
Fame, Faith, and Putting Marriage First
One of You Wants More Sex? Here’s What’s Going On.
