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That Moment When You Realize You Match Your New Book Cover
I am excited to announce that my new devo Find Rest is BACK IN STOCK! We were so thrilled to discover such a HUGE demand for this devotional during the pre-sales period, before it was officially released. And then less thrilled to discover that the huge demand meant we were going to “sell out” of the available […]
What he’s thinking when you frown
After speaking at some awesome women’s events recently (shout out to the ASPIRE women’s conference tour!), I was going through security at a Florida airport when I saw a real-life example of a truth about men. There were two grade-school children, a pretty wife with a frown, and a discouraged husband in the security line […]
An Update on my Dad’s Health
Dear Friends— Many of you have been asking for an update on my dad and I wanted to write a quick word on what’s been going on with him. Thank you all for your sincere prayers and kind words after my father had his stroke. The last few weeks have been intense and often emotional—many […]
When You Think Your Husband Is Overreacting . . . Again
“If I had heard this a few years ago, I wouldn’t be divorced today.” I can’t tell you how often I have heard that phrase. At my speaking engagements I frequently have people tell me how much they wish they hadn’t had to learn some key relationship lessons the hard way—through the pain and loss […]
Are You Measuring His Love By The Size Of Your Diamond?
The day her boyfriend proposed was one of the happiest days of Sarah’s life. Jason went all out: the perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, a few months before the wedding, Sarah’s ring has become a source […]
4 Phrases That Make You Your Wife’s Hero
There’s a reason why superhero movies are so popular, right? What’s not to love about someone who defies all odds, defeats the villain, rescues the vulnerable and saves the day? And while most of you men do not wear a cape on a regular basis, I know from my research for the book For Men […]
2 Mistakes We Make That Create Loneliness
There’s a certain amount of pride that goes along with doing things on your own, isn’t there? Think about those curtains you hung by yourself. Or that gourmet recipe you mastered. Or that presentation you put together that knocked the socks off your boss. Isn’t an independent spirit something we admire in others and work […]
A Permanent Love
What would you do for your spouse when they are suffering? Your child? Would you take their pain on yourself if you could? I know many of us feel that we would. The depth of our love means we would take on any pain if we could relieve them of theirs. That fact, combined with what […]
“Things I’ve learned in the past week” by Charlyn Elliott (a special guest post)
Hi friends – Yes, it is a cliché, but when it rains it pours! As y’all know, my dad had a stroke almost two weeks ago, and I’ve spent most of that time in and out of hospitals helping my mom. My team was amazing: they stepped in and took everything off my plate so […]
A Tip for Finding Rest No Matter Where You Are
We are SO EXCITED that the launch date for Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in a Busy Life is finally here! It’s been a stressful couple of weeks (see previous blog post about Shaunti’s dad in the hospital), but through it all, we have seen God’s faithfulness. We know His goodness passes […]
An update from Shaunti’s team
Hi Friends, As many of you have reached out, we on Shaunti’s team wanted to thank you and to let you know that we’re doing our best to take care of Shaunti during this difficult time. We’re navigating the work front while she takes care of things with her family. (If you haven’t seen her […]
In the ICU With My Dad
Well, this wasn’t where I was expecting to be today. I have had the craziest last month: fighting an intense sinus infection and bronchitis and traveling and speaking throughout – to awesome churches in Pennsylvania, Texas, Oregon, and Florida; a corporation in Baltimore; a school in Virginia. (That looks like too small of a list! […]
6 Tips Coaches Want Every Sports Parent To Know
I recently decided to interview coaches, and in those discussions I consistently heard the following things that drive them nuts . . . and these 6 tips on what parents should do instead:
Big Announcement from Shaunti: Pre-order Her New Book!
I have something exciting to share! I’ve been working on a very personal project unlike anything I’ve done before, and it’s about to make its way into the world on March 26. Drum roll please…
4 Ways to Help Your Husband Up His Romantic Game
My friend Michelle once told me about a Valentine’s Day a couple years ago when her husband’s less-than-romantic gift left her feeling a bit hurt. She was hoping for flowers and a date night out. You know what the gift was? A vacuum! While I am sure he meant well because they needed a vacuum, […]
4 Crucial Things Daughters Need To Hear from their Dads
The daddy/daughter dances. The skinned knees and kissed boo-boos. Watching recitals, cheering at games, drying tears after first break-ups. Dads, we know you love your daughter. And you know you love your daughter. But there’s something you might not know: just how much your daughter needs to hear it! In the research with teens and […]
3 Reasons You Should NOT Gossip About Your Husband (and One Reason You Should!)
Not long ago I was in another city at a women’s event and heard a group of women near me talking over lunch: Friend 1: “Tyler has been working so late, I never see him anymore. He’s only there for sleep and sex.” Friend 2: “Girl, you don’t have to take that. I told Nate […]
6 Ways Sarcasm is Hurting Your Relationships
The movie Lily’s husband had picked out for them to watch made her hoot with laughter—for all the wrong reasons. She jokingly critiqued the bad script, the bad acting, and the lame special effects throughout. “Well that was a real five-star selection!” she smirked as they cut off the ending credits. Nick shrugged sheepishly and […]
3 Reasons Why Your Wife Won’t Just Tell You What She Wants
So men, here’s the key that will unlock the door to your wife’s confidence and security: pursue the lifelong practice of studying your beloved, then put what you learn to work.
Don’t Be a Hothead! 4 Key Strategies for Keeping Your Cool
Most of us think that letting a little steam out of the kettle now prevents it from exploding later, right? And taking a few minutes to vent just feels quite satisfying when we have steam pouring out of our ears. As it turns out, though, doing this actually hurts instead of helps.
3 Simple Steps to Help Your Teen Stay Honest
We value freedom, but in our research with teens we discovered that it is far more than just a “value.” At this stage of their lives, it is THE value. In fact, it is so motivating, so powerful, that to many teens it becomes like a drug — one that they are even willing to lie to their parents to keep.
4 Triggers that Cause Wives to Worry
There are definite reasons wives keep checking in on the state of their marriage relationship and guys, it’s important to be aware of what might be triggering your wife and her insecurity.
3 Things to Remember With Your Drama Queen Daughter
Do you have a teen or pre-teen daughter at home? Ever gotten frustrated at her “drama queen” episodes? Maybe she got furious about that bad grade when the teacher was so unfair! Maybe she sobbed about the mean girls at school. Maybe she starts furiously texting you every upset emoji in the list about how […]
3 Things I Love Most About My Readers
Normally around Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to tell your special someone why you love them. Today, I want to share examples of why I love YOU, my readers. And just so you know: there’s a reason I’m doing this, beyond just a way to say thank you! As I’ve done the various research studies, […]
3 Things Every Boy Needs to Hear from His Mom
Can anyone relate to that feeling of whiplash when you realize your little boy has suddenly become a teenager? How did that happen? When did “snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails” turn into “phones and midterms and social outings with friends?” It seems as if our little boys are growing and maturing at alarming rates. […]
2 Steps You Must Take to Improve Your Struggling Marriage
Lynn and her husband, Dan, have been married for 20 years and their youngest son is leaving for college in the fall. Over the years, between busy careers and kids’ extracurricular activities, Lynn and Dan just kind of . . . drifted. But not drifting in a pleasant, easy-breezy way; they’re basically living separate lives […]
2 Reasons Why Your Man Hates Conflict
Women sometimes feel like the only reason men walk away is that they are angry with us and simply don’t want to talk because of that. We couldn’t be more wrong.
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope
For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, Biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Book by Leslie Vernick
3 Reasons Your Wife Won’t Tell You Exactly What She Wants
Not long ago, someone we know got engaged via a multi-stage, elaborate proposal that had clearly taken an immense amount of thought and effort. A mutual friend, upon hearing the story, told him, “Good job. Only 9,999,999 tests left to go.” The lucky groom, of course, wondered: why do women “test” and “play games” with […]
The Desire Husbands Don’t Like to Discuss
One of the most controversial topics I address with women is one of the clearest findings from my anonymous nationally-representative surveys of men for books like For Women Only. Ready to hear it? In your man’s mind, if you put an effort into taking care of yourself, it shows that you care for him – […]
That big college moment, my daughter, and engineering
What is it that builds drive into a person? Why is it that one child has a laid-back approach to academics, and another gets a laser focus and never quits?
When Your Man Gets Upset About Money
Most likely, hiding beneath the money behavior that is driving you nuts is a man who wants desperately to provide a good life for you, and to love you well.
When Your Husband Wants Sex…Again
Sex is not just a physical need — it’s also about emotions. Here are three things he’s not saying out loud when he comes to you for sex.
Best of 2017: Relationships, Marriage, and the Topic Everyone Asks About
As one final look back at 2017 (for those of us who can’t believe it’s already 2018), here is a recap of the top articles from my blog last year.
A Bittersweet Christmas
I’m spending Christmas break with my family in one of my favorite places: the beautiful log cabin my parents built in the Virginia Blue Ridge Mountains.
How to Love the Good Man You Actually Have, Not the Prince You Don’t
I was thinking “This is so cheesy… why do I like it so much?” Why do those cheesy, romantic plot lines centering on a prince appeal to us that much?
The Most Important Gifts You Can Give This Season
Instead of investing all your time and money on stuff, plan to make your important gifts a little more personal, inexpensive, and powerfully transforming.
What To Do When You Think Your Teen Has Lost the Faith
What looks like rejection of faith may not actually be a statement of firm belief. It may truly be a question in disguise.
3 Things to Do When You’re Disappointed By Your Spouse
Every single one of us has been very disappointed by our spouse from time to time. Thankfully, it doesn’t have to be the end of the story.
What Men Think About #MeToo: The Top 6 Reactions
Sexual harassment has always been there, in the shadowy corners of Hollywood and corporate America. But #MeToo & the Harvey Weinstein case flipped a switch.
Second marriages: 3 things you need to know
I discovered that the sources for the “70% percent of second marriages end in divorce” stat don’t exist. The truth is is much better.
How to Avoid Emotional Collisions with your Male Co-Workers
If you want good work relationships, it will help to understand a few key ways men are wired. After all, you can only work on yourself.
The Secret to Enjoying a Conflict-Free Holiday
“Let It Go” is more than a Frozen anthem for the pre-school set. It’s also a hard-core success strategy for giving yourself — and those around you — a truly happy holiday, from Thanksgiving preparations through New Year’s Day (and the rest of the year). I saw the power of a few of these little actions […]
5 Steps to Make Your Marriage Explode (in a Good Way!)
Assume the best of your spouse’s intentions toward you: in other words, that your spouse really does love you, respect you, and wants the best for you.
Love and Laughter: How Humor Can Ease Relationship Tension
Jabbing the key into the ignition, he looks up as she finally open the door to get in the car. He says with irritation, “Hurry up, we’re going to be late!” She’s fuming, too. “I had to drop everything and look for the missing soccer shirt, remember?” Silence. Simmering tempers. But then . . . […]
Transform Your Relationship With This One Simple Rule
As a child, each of us was told, “You’ve got to learn to think before you speak.” But I’ve seen we need to refine that edict if we want a great marriage: we’ve got to learn to think before we blurt! And it turns out that those of us who happen to be of the […]
Providing For a Family? It’s About More Than Money
As women’s earning power has changed over the last fifty years, so have marriage dynamics – and having a great relationship means knowing how to handle the new normal. According to a 2013 Pew Research study, among married couples in 1960, just six percent of women earned more than their husbands. Today, the number is 24 […]
4 Reasons Parents Need to Be The Boss
It wasn’t really a thing before the title song of the hit comedy series Malcolm in the Middle. But for many years now, the battle cry of the American teenager has been, “You’re not the boss of me!” Well, actually, dear teenager: yes, yes we are. And here’s the surprise for every beleaguered parent: No […]
Does Your Kid Make You Feel Like You Can Do Nothing Right?
(a special guest post by Debbie Hitchcock) Last week I felt like everything I did for one of my kids was met with sarcasm, frustration, or anger. The typical jokes we had between us, the acts of kindness I did, and every time I seemed to open my mouth it was met with a snarl of […]
Want a happy marriage? 3 Ways to Nix All Marriage Negativity
There’s a couple I know who just seems to have their act together. They’re a joy to be around and it’s obvious that they genuinely like being around each other, too! No, they’re not perfect (they have kids and jobs and, ahem, they’re human!) but their drama seems to be kept at a minimum. Over […]
