Yesterday, Jeff and I and our two kids were hustling to catch a flight to Colorado, when we all just…stopped. In the area where people routinely wait for incoming travelers, were a mom and three kids. But their large, red-and-black, lovingly-made poster-board signs were anything but routine. “HAS ANYONE SEEN OUR INCREDIBLE DAD?” asked […]
A friend showed me this e-card and it made me steaming mad. For those who can’t see the image, it is a picture of an exhausted woman, with her hand over her eyes, and the caption, “You know that feeling of being able to sit down when you’re exhausted? Yeah, me either. I’m not a dad.” […]
A few years ago I got a letter from a husband whose wife was frustrated with his health. He was struggling with his job, they were behind on their bills and due to feeling so low, he was making poor food choices that gained him 30 pounds in one year and landed him in the […]
Ladies, imagine that as part of your dream job or volunteer work, you are offered a project that is really exciting, and could also earn you a very welcome financial bonus. You step up to do it. Eager to please your boss, you spend long weeks binge-drinking caramel macchiatos, getting little sleep, and pouring your […]
Men, have you ever found yourself wanting to roll your eyes and mutter under your breath when your wife shares yet another worry that is keeping her up at night? Maybe it seems like she’s always stressing out about something and you just don’t know how to respond because you don’t feel the same way. […]
I can’t believe she’s a high school graduate. After 18 years of late nights of studying, STEM projects and AP tests, thousands of hours of volleyball, uncountable laughs and tears, dozens of college essays, eight acceptance and rejection letters, and a whirlwind of graduation parties, my daughter just graduated from high school. As […]
There’s probably something your husband desperately wants you to know about your sex life. Drum roll please! The next time you are intimate with your husband, he’d like you to . . . keep the lights on. Yes, you heard me right! I know the idea is scary for many women but hear me out. […]
So unless you were on Everest with no Wi-Fi access last week, you heard either “Laurel” or “Yanny” in the now-famous audio clip. And you probably got into an argument with a loved one about how they could possibly hear something different from you. Just as with the 2015 “blue/gold dress” image, Jeff and I […]
“How was school?” (Shrug.) “Fine.” “What did you do?” (Shrug.) “Nothing.” “Anything fun happen today?” (Side eye. Sigh. And…Shrug.) If this sounds familiar, join the club! Not only do I have two teenagers, but I’ve interviewed and surveyed about 3,000 of them for For Parents Only and other books, and discovered that the condition homo teenagesapiens silenticus […]
So ladies, imagine one morning during the holidays, your old refrigerator suddenly seems about to give up the ghost. Images of all that spoiled food start dancing in your head, and you find a one-day-only flash sale for a fridge at a fantastic price . . . but your husband says he needs to think […]
Nate and Kathryn are working to improve their marriage, but Nate has a pet peeve that he can’t seem to let go of. Although Kathryn is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives him crazy how negative she’s become. She’s critical about the most insignificant things. If it’s not the laundry, he didn’t […]
Even after years of being a social researcher and learning what is in the hearts and minds of men and boys, I just wasn’t ready when my pre-teen son began struggling with the same visual temptations as adult males. But why would he not? He is genetically programmed to be male. But just because he […]
I know this might seem like it should be a Mother’s Day article… but I’m going to give a shout out to all the wonderful Fathers out there. Dads, you so often are not recognized as the strong, caring, protective, loving presences that you are. I’ve interviewed so many thousands of you over the years and […]
At a recent marriage conference, a man sidled up to me and began talking while keeping an eye on his wife nearby, clearly trying to ask a question before she noticed. “So,” he said in a low voice, “I say ‘I love you’ a lot. But it seems to sort of bounce off. It’s like she […]
First of all—I’ve got great news! My newest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional For Lasting Peace in a Busy Life, is back in stock on Amazon! We had such a good response that it went temporarily out of stock until we could get another shipment in. (Click here if you would like to order […]
When your husband walks through the door at the end of the day, is he more like Prince Charming from Cinderella or Grumpy from Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs? If your answer is “definitely Grumpy!” you’re not alone. Most married couples spend busy days apart, no matter what their jobs are and whether they […]
I am excited to announce that my new devo Find Rest is BACK IN STOCK! We were so thrilled to discover such a HUGE demand for this devotional during the pre-sales period, before it was officially released. And then less thrilled to discover that the huge demand meant we were going to “sell out” of the available […]
After speaking at some awesome women’s events recently (shout out to the ASPIRE women’s conference tour!), I was going through security at a Florida airport when I saw a real-life example of a truth about men. There were two grade-school children, a pretty wife with a frown, and a discouraged husband in the security line […]
Dear Friends— Many of you have been asking for an update on my dad and I wanted to write a quick word on what’s been going on with him. Thank you all for your sincere prayers and kind words after my father had his stroke. The last few weeks have been intense and often emotional—many […]
“If I had heard this a few years ago, I wouldn’t be divorced today.” I can’t tell you how often I have heard that phrase. At my speaking engagements I frequently have people tell me how much they wish they hadn’t had to learn some key relationship lessons the hard way—through the pain and loss […]
The day her boyfriend proposed was one of the happiest days of Sarah’s life. Jason went all out: the perfect location, meaningful words, and down on one knee with a lovely ring. At the time, she wouldn’t have changed a thing. But now, a few months before the wedding, Sarah’s ring has become a source […]
There’s a reason why superhero movies are so popular, right? What’s not to love about someone who defies all odds, defeats the villain, rescues the vulnerable and saves the day? And while most of you men do not wear a cape on a regular basis, I know from my research for the book For Men […]
There’s a certain amount of pride that goes along with doing things on your own, isn’t there? Think about those curtains you hung by yourself. Or that gourmet recipe you mastered. Or that presentation you put together that knocked the socks off your boss. Isn’t an independent spirit something we admire in others and work […]
What would you do for your spouse when they are suffering? Your child? Would you take their pain on yourself if you could? I know many of us feel that we would. The depth of our love means we would take on any pain if we could relieve them of theirs. That fact, combined with what […]
Hi friends – Yes, it is a cliché, but when it rains it pours! As y’all know, my dad had a stroke almost two weeks ago, and I’ve spent most of that time in and out of hospitals helping my mom. My team was amazing: they stepped in and took everything off my plate so […]
We are SO EXCITED that the launch date for Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in a Busy Life is finally here! It’s been a stressful couple of weeks (see previous blog post about Shaunti’s dad in the hospital), but through it all, we have seen God’s faithfulness. We know His goodness passes […]
Hi Friends, As many of you have reached out, we on Shaunti’s team wanted to thank you and to let you know that we’re doing our best to take care of Shaunti during this difficult time. We’re navigating the work front while she takes care of things with her family. (If you haven’t seen her […]
Well, this wasn’t where I was expecting to be today. I have had the craziest last month: fighting an intense sinus infection and bronchitis and traveling and speaking throughout – to awesome churches in Pennsylvania, Texas, Oregon, and Florida; a corporation in Baltimore; a school in Virginia. (That looks like too small of a list! […]
I recently decided to interview coaches, and in those discussions I consistently heard the following things that drive them nuts . . . and these 6 tips on what parents should do instead:
I have something exciting to share! I’ve been working on a very personal project unlike anything I’ve done before, and it’s about to make its way into the world on March 26. Drum roll please…
My friend Michelle once told me about a Valentine’s Day a couple years ago when her husband’s less-than-romantic gift left her feeling a bit hurt. She was hoping for flowers and a date night out. You know what the gift was? A vacuum! While I am sure he meant well because they needed a vacuum, […]
The daddy/daughter dances. The skinned knees and kissed boo-boos. Watching recitals, cheering at games, drying tears after first break-ups. Dads, we know you love your daughter. And you know you love your daughter. But there’s something you might not know: just how much your daughter needs to hear it! In the research with teens and […]
Not long ago I was in another city at a women’s event and heard a group of women near me talking over lunch: Friend 1: “Tyler has been working so late, I never see him anymore. He’s only there for sleep and sex.” Friend 2: “Girl, you don’t have to take that. I told Nate […]
The movie Lily’s husband had picked out for them to watch made her hoot with laughter—for all the wrong reasons. She jokingly critiqued the bad script, the bad acting, and the lame special effects throughout. “Well that was a real five-star selection!” she smirked as they cut off the ending credits. Nick shrugged sheepishly and […]
So men, here’s the key that will unlock the door to your wife’s confidence and security: pursue the lifelong practice of studying your beloved, then put what you learn to work.
Most of us think that letting a little steam out of the kettle now prevents it from exploding later, right? And taking a few minutes to vent just feels quite satisfying when we have steam pouring out of our ears. As it turns out, though, doing this actually hurts instead of helps.
We value freedom, but in our research with teens we discovered that it is far more than just a “value.” At this stage of their lives, it is THE value. In fact, it is so motivating, so powerful, that to many teens it becomes like a drug — one that they are even willing to lie to their parents to keep.
There are definite reasons wives keep checking in on the state of their marriage relationship and guys, it’s important to be aware of what might be triggering your wife and her insecurity.
Do you have a teen or pre-teen daughter at home? Ever gotten frustrated at her “drama queen” episodes? Maybe she got furious about that bad grade when the teacher was so unfair! Maybe she sobbed about the mean girls at school. Maybe she starts furiously texting you every upset emoji in the list about how […]
Normally around Valentine’s Day, I encourage you to tell your special someone why you love them. Today, I want to share examples of why I love YOU, my readers. And just so you know: there’s a reason I’m doing this, beyond just a way to say thank you! As I’ve done the various research studies, […]
Can anyone relate to that feeling of whiplash when you realize your little boy has suddenly become a teenager? How did that happen? When did “snips and snails and puppy-dogs’ tails” turn into “phones and midterms and social outings with friends?” It seems as if our little boys are growing and maturing at alarming rates. […]
Lynn and her husband, Dan, have been married for 20 years and their youngest son is leaving for college in the fall. Over the years, between busy careers and kids’ extracurricular activities, Lynn and Dan just kind of . . . drifted. But not drifting in a pleasant, easy-breezy way; they’re basically living separate lives […]
Women sometimes feel like the only reason men walk away is that they are angry with us and simply don’t want to talk because of that. We couldn’t be more wrong.
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage: How to Find Your Voice and Reclaim Your Hope
For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, Biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Book by Leslie Vernick
Not long ago, someone we know got engaged via a multi-stage, elaborate proposal that had clearly taken an immense amount of thought and effort. A mutual friend, upon hearing the story, told him, “Good job. Only 9,999,999 tests left to go.” The lucky groom, of course, wondered: why do women “test” and “play games” with […]
One of the most controversial topics I address with women is one of the clearest findings from my anonymous nationally-representative surveys of men for books like For Women Only. Ready to hear it? In your man’s mind, if you put an effort into taking care of yourself, it shows that you care for him – […]
What is it that builds drive into a person? Why is it that one child has a laid-back approach to academics, and another gets a laser focus and never quits?
Most likely, hiding beneath the money behavior that is driving you nuts is a man who wants desperately to provide a good life for you, and to love you well.
Sex is not just a physical need — it’s also about emotions. Here are three things he’s not saying out loud when he comes to you for sex.
As one final look back at 2017 (for those of us who can’t believe it’s already 2018), here is a recap of the top articles from my blog last year.