In a few days, Americans will celebrate the Fourth of July. With fireworks, flags, and a whole lot of barbecue, we will cheerfully commemorate our country’s heritage– our independence. What we may not realize is just how much this basic American value has shaped our relationships. Independence can be a valuable attribute in many contexts […]

Sixteen years ago, in December of 2004, I met a remarkable woman who drove from Nashville to Atlanta to visit with me. Three months before, I had published my first relationship book, For Women Only, which was quickly becoming one of those unexpected best-sellers that turns your life upside down. Only I had no idea […]

This is Part 5 of a series that looks at the research-based solutions to navigating this trying time in our lives and marriages—and emerging stronger. Feel free to share this with those who might benefit! As we noted last time, one of the greatest needs today (and one of the most important factors for emerging […]

This is Part 4 of a series that looks at the research-based solutions to navigating this trying time in our lives and marriages—and emerging stronger. Feel free to share this with those who might benefit! We all know that money is one of the main issues in marriage even during normal times. These are not […]

This is Part 3 of a series that looks at the research-based solutions to navigating this trying time in our lives and marriages—and emerging stronger. Feel free to share this with those who might benefit! If you listen to the pundits, the conventional wisdom is that this quarantine is fracturing marriages in an unprecedented way. […]

This is Part 2 of a series that looks at the research-based solutions to navigating this trying time in our lives and marriages—and emerging stronger. Feel free to share this with those who might benefit! How do we come through this season with our personal relationships not only intact but stronger? How do we move […]

This is Part 1 of a series that looks at the research-based solutions to navigating this trying time in our lives and marriages—and emerging stronger. Feel free to share this with those who might benefit! All of us are caught up in a natural disaster, aren’t we? Unlike a hurricane, earthquake, or flood, this natural […]

The coronavirus is all anyone is talking about . . . and we have a choice to make. Two decades ago, we had a choice to make in another time of great uncertainty. With the impending approach of Y2K, would we respond in faith or fear? I argued then that this was an incredibly important […]

Today’s the day! We are so excited to announce our latest research-based book! Jeff and I finally tackled that issue that causes issues in SO many marriages: MONEY. The book is Thriving in Love & Money: 5 Game-Changing Insights about Your Relationship, Your Money, and Yourself—and as many of you might guess, we’re tackling it […]

Every few months, it seems, we head to the movies for the latest adventures of our favorite superheroes. (We will admit that the Feldhahn clan falls into the Marvel mega-fan category.) When our son was six, his superhero of choice was Superman. He wore the capes, his action figures littering the floor of our playroom. But […]

Believe it or not, the answer is not announcing, “A free day off school!” (Although I’m sure that would work too!) The answer is far more subtle—and much more profound. There is so much going on in your child’s head and heart that they find hard to explain, and which is SO easy for us […]

Last weekend, watching the Super Bowl, I was struck by two things: First, of course, is that my childhood football team won! (I was born in Kansas City, and even though I didn’t grow up there, my Grandpa had season tickets to the Chiefs. I eagerly went every chance I got!) But second, during the […]

It’s funny. When Jeff and I speak at marriage conferences, or when I speak at women’s events, it is extremely common for a man to come up to us with a particular LOOK in his eyes as he is about to open his mouth to say something. It is hard to describe the look, but […]

My friend was browsing at a Goodwill outside Atlanta, when she spotted a book (Really Bad Girls of the Bible) she had been wanting to read. Later, imagine her surprise when she saw a short note from the previous owner, tucked carefully between the pages. Except… it wasn’t from the owner, but the previous owner’s […]

I never imagined that in my family’s darkest moment would come a miracle. Perhaps in the heavens there are greater things at work than what we think we may know. And when it comes, sometimes it can be as soft as a whisper. And so I’ve learned to never stop listening. (Buttons: A Christmas Tale) […]

“In U.S., Decline of Christianity Continues at Rapid Pace.” That was the headline of an October 2019 Pew Research Center article. One guaranteed to discourage every pastor and every Christian in America. It is also entirely misleading. Just to set the record straight: More than one-third of American Christians consider themselves “strongly affiliated” with their […]

The new school year is in full swing (wait, didn’t we just take those “first day of school” pictures yesterday?) and chances are you’re in full-on schedule management and chauffeur mode. There’s a ton of extra-curricular activities that teens can participate in—marching band, sports, robotics, scouts, clubs, lessons, and more can fill the afternoons and […]

Dear Guys, This letter is to all you young men who are trying to show care, honor, and respect to the girls and women in your lives—in your actions, words, and in your private thoughts. I know you’re out there because I have a teenage son who strives for that, and I’ve spoken to thousands […]

Hi friends! I wanted to give you an update on what’s been going on lately. I know a lot of you were aware that for a long time I was in Cave Mode working on the next book. Well, I’m excited to announce that I’m out of Cave Mode because the book is in! Woohoo! […]

Summer is over and school is back in session! (Although here in the South, we’re still in the high 90’s and feeling nowhere near fall-like!) And our teens, like it or not, are back in the routine of middle or high school. Backpacks have been broken in, lunchboxes/headphones/power cords/permission slips have already been lost (and […]

As I’m sure is the case with all of you, Jeff and I have been struggling these last few days with the heartbreak coming out of El Paso and Dayton. We have spent significant amounts of time in both communities, for many speaking trips and a major research trip to El Paso last year for […]

Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature. Or at least he used to. Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it. He shuts down so easily. Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate […]

The most recent political campaign really did a number on civil political conversation—among friends, Facebook “friends,” family members, and even between husbands and wives. Many of us couldn’t wait for the election to be over, so some of the division and rancor could stop. But instead of a return to civil public discourse since the […]

If you knew my mom, you would pretty quickly notice a few things about her. She can wander into any kitchen and wander out again with a stellar five-course meal. She writes amazing music; folk songs, lullabies, and astoundingly beautiful choir music for churches. And she is small but mighty. Even at 4’10” and 90 […]

Things have been busy around here but I needed to take a moment to tell you some wonderful news! I am excited to announce that my second devotional from iDisciple is HERE! It is a project near and dear to my heart—and I’m thrilled to let you know it is especially written for mothers (and […]

Dear Girls, Can we have an honest conversation about something that might be a little awkward? It’s not about sex . . . at least directly. But it is about boys and sex and what they think when they see girls, and all the images that swirl around in their brains. It’s an especially important […]

What would you say if I told you that you could do one thing tonight in the bedroom for your husband that would most likely MAKE HIS DAY (or week or month)? Keep the lights on during sex. Did I just hear a collective gasp out there from women who are cringing at the […]