8 Relationship Roadblocks that Sabotage Young Couples – Part 1
This will be a three-part series for young twenty-something couples pondering marriage – and those who love them. Please pass this Part 1 along to someone who needs it and […]
How Kind Are You?
We teach our children to be kind to others. We remind a struggling friend to “be kind to yourself.” Kindness is a trait we hold to, and appreciate in others. […]
Should Men Hold the Door? (Or Lift the Suitcase?)
Remember my suitcase saga from last year? This is the promised follow-up, based on your many responses to my request for input. Last year I was on an airplane, struggling […]
More Money Won’t Help Your Marriage – But These Habits Will
“If we just had more money it would change everything . . .” That thought comes so easily when there are financial tensions in marriage. “If we just had an […]
Turn up the Heat this Valentine’s Day (and Every Day) with Better…Conversation?
Let’s talk about sex. No, really, let’s talk about it – because what better day is there than Valentine’s Day to enliven the sexual intimacy in our marriages? And it […]
What Hollywood Gets Wrong about Sex– and What Couples Can Do Right
You giggled about it in middle school, read about it in books, and have seen it implied or portrayed countless times on-screen. And your mind and heart have absorbed dozens […]
This One Action Can Create a Competent and Confident Dad (Part 2)
Be sure to see Part 1 of this blog. Pass it along to a man you want to encourage – especially a new father! So now you know the encouraging […]
This One Action Can Create a Competent and Confident Dad (Part 1)
It’s no secret that becoming a first-time parent changes everything – social life, sleep patterns, finances, and … neuroplasticity? Researchers have discovered that our brains actually change when we have […]
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Conflict – Part 2
These two articles (see Part 1, here) are new entries in our series to equip engaged and newlywed couples – and anyone else trying to create a great marriage. Based […]
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Conflict – Part 1
This is a new entry in our series to equip engaged and newlywed couples – and anyone else trying to create a great marriage. Based on more than 18 years […]
Don’t Should On Yourself
I blew it, and I knew it. Our whole family was exhausted and working on little sleep, but we had out-of-town friends coming over for a weekend brunch in thirty […]
The Top Ten Blog Posts from 2022
After an unprecedented (!!) 2020 and 2021, I feel like we finally got to a reasonable “new normal” in 2022. What do you think? Although there were major issues to […]
Two Simple Steps to Transform Christmas Get-Togethers
From shopping, cooking, wrapping, and year-end work projects, we all have enough to do this week. Oh, and don’t forget cookies for the neighbors! Or the attempts to organize a […]
Shining Our Light For All To See
Growing up, finances were often tight — so now that I’m older, I appreciate the financial sacrifice my parents made to take my brother and me to Hawaii for Christmas […]
Three Keys for Keeping Holiday Stress at Bay
Christmas is coming! We are in the season of warmth, kindness, yummy eggnog, romantic Hallmark movies … and crammed schedules, equally crammed parking lots, crazy weather, and financial stresses. How […]
A Devotional Story Update and Tribute
A few years ago, I wrote a devotional book called Find Peace. In Day 9, which you will see below, I shared the story of close friends – “Lara and […]
Two Steps to Improving Your Emotional Health This Thanksgiving
I think we can all agree that in many ways this has been a brutal year. Or three. The war in Ukraine. Continued pandemic impacts. Unprecedented levels of anxiety. Spiking […]
National Adoption Month and How to Love Adoptive Families Well
A Note from Shaunti: Did you know that November is National Adoption month? Recently I was looking around the table at our regularly scheduled staff meeting and I realized that […]
A Challenge for Churches, Friends, and Women in the Workplace
This is an On the Road blog. Occasionally I will use this space to highlight a helpful idea or observation from events where I have spoken, or share research conducted […]
Do you need to let go of control in your marriage?
A big thank you to Shannon Popkin for her guest blog this week as I finish up edits on my latest devotional, Find Hope! Guest Blog by Shannon Popkin Back […]
The Benefits Of Not Getting Married Just To Get Married
Jeff and I recently watched an old favorite movie: When Harry Met Sally. I was struck yet again by a dynamic that happens when Sally finds herself alone at age […]
No, I don’t have a microphone in your house
It always makes me laugh. Multiple times a year, someone will come up to me at an event and say, “Did you have a microphone in our kitchen yesterday?” or […]
Finding Hope in a Breast Cancer Journey – PART 2
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month – something I take much more seriously than I used to, after going through treatment for breast cancer since early last year. I’ve been […]
Finding Hope in a Breast Cancer Journey – PART 1
“I looked you up on your blog.” One of the women at the retreat where I was speaking this weekend, stopped me on the path. “I didn’t realize you had […]
Are You Lonelier Than You Think?
Not long ago, Jeff and I were presenting our latest research to the annual convention of the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC) and grabbed the opportunity to have dinner […]
Need Rest? Finding It May Look Different for Men and Women
Did you know that finding rest may look different for men and women? Even after all the research I’ve done, this was a new one for me. And yet in […]
A Surprising Way to Encourage Your Kids’ Faith
Some time back, I met a mother and daughter at a conference where I was speaking. Unlike the energized people around us, they were quiet and downcast. It turns out, […]
The Big Blind Spot That Is Messing With Your Relationships
Did you know that an experiment with a gorilla can teach us a whole lot about creating great relationships? Well, not a gorilla, exactly. But an element of a classic […]
When Knee-Jerk Reactions Cause Money Tension In Marriage
Although everyone reacts in different ways, at some point we all have a negative response to something around money—especially what our spouse does with money! In doing research for our book Thriving in Love and Money, my husband Jeff and I found that these knee-jerk reactions often trace back to a few faulty patterns of thought. But if we can learn to recognize and catch those wrong assumptions, we can retrain our thinking and dramatically change our interactions with our spouse.
A Tale of Two Men—And What It Means for You
A man should never, ever have to watch someone struggling to lift her suitcase into the overhead bin, with his hands rigid and tight on his armrests, forcing himself to stay silent and not help. That is a man denying something deep and good that I believe God put directly into his heart.
Why does my man try to carry all the groceries in at once?
Our man is longing for us to trust him—and we usually do, in theory! Yet when push comes to shove (or when he is ferrying both the baby carrier and a giant stack of boxes from the …
Why Can’t We Just Go To Sleep?
Guys, picture the scene. You have had a long and tiring day. So has your wife. You’ve made dinner while your wife corralled the kids for homework. After eating, getting […]
In Case You Missed It—Blogs and Updates
So, if in the busyness of the first half of 2022, you missed a few of our blogs on marriage, relationships, parenting, and kindness, you can catch up here!
Want to Fight Anxiety? Point Out the Positive!
So much is going on in our world that can make us anxious, on edge, angry or annoyed. But there are also so many beautiful things happening as well.
Why Does My Wife Expect Me to Read Her Mind?
When she doesn’t tell you something, it may be because—subconsciously or consciously—she is hoping you will care enough about her to figure it out.
How to Read Your Wife’s Mind
First, most female brains are designed to think things through by talking them through—where your brain is likely the opposite. (Most male brains need to process something internally before the man can talk about it.)
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Men and Women
You have to truly learn your spouse and be willing to consider that what matters most to them (or most hurts their feelings) might potentially be quite different than what would matter to you.
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Sex
Although few people go into marriage expecting issues in the sexual department, we need to recognize that sex is one of the top issues that causes arguments in marriage.
What I’m Loving Lately—Summer Edition
I thought it would be a good time to share some things I’m loving lately, especially since I’m in the middle of two big projects.
Cheering Dads in the Daily Things
Most men have a deep, abiding desire to do good things. Learn how to cheer on the dad in your life and make him feel affirmed as a father.
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Money
If you are engaged or relatively newly married, consider these steps now and talk to your fiancé or spouse about them so you start off right. Doing so will save you a lot of heartache!
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Communication
Below are four crucial communication habits we’ve identified for any couple who wants to create a highly happy marriage.
An Amazing Milestone in Our Family — And For Our Son
Whether a burden is carried by you, your child, or a close friend or loved one, God can use those circumstances in ways you could never imagine.
Top Marriage Advice for Newlyweds (and Everyone Else) About Making a Happy Marriage
Newlywed? Engaged? Read the research-based habits for a happy marriage!
10 Encouraging Facts About Marriage You Need to Hear and Share
Do you know the real facts about marriage or just the myths? Find out the positive truth about marriage today.
Honoring All the Mothers (Who Are Loving the Kids They’ve Got)
Moms, we can be so attuned to what we might be doing wrong as a mom that we can absolutely miss what we are doing right.
3 Great Ways to Handle Drama
The man behind me at the grocery checkout was on his phone with his daughter—and clearly having a hard time getting a word in edgewise. “No, honey, I—” [pause as […]
In Troubled Times, Remember How the Story Ends
Early this year, you may have seen the meme that says, “Before I agree to 2022 I want to read the terms and conditions.” Doesn’t it capture where we are? […]
3 Ways Fictional Marriages can Sabotage Real Ones—and How to Get it Right
TV shows and books often portray great marriages but not necessarily the truth for how you create great marriages.
A Different Perspective on Teens—and How to Talk to Them
As a mom fully entrenched in the teen parenting season (in the highly sensitive “managing college admissions” phase) and as a social researcher hearing from parents whenever I speak, I’m […]