One of You Wants More Sex? Here’s What’s Going On.
Do you have a sex mismatch in your marriage? One of you wants more sex than the other, and pressure, hurt feelings, or expectations kind of ripple as an undercurrent to your relationship? Maybe you’ve even made this assumption: My spouse just has a lower desire for sex.
Or even worse: My spouse doesn’t desire me.
The pain in that is enormous. And Hollywood isn’t helping. Movies have told us there’s basically one way desire works:
- There’s a spark
- There’s a hunger
- The couple immediately does something about it
Without being coy—we’ll save that for Hollywood—Jeff and I discuss on this week’s podcast that, statistically, what you’re likely dealing with is not a lower level of desire, but rather a different type of desire. No one’s broken here. What a relief, right?
We’ll explain the two main desire types (as well as a third less common, but really important type to know) on this week’s episode of I Wish You Could Hear This.
It’s not overstating things to say that this insight—based on research from the largest-ever study of its kind into the sex lives of married couples—could revolutionize your marriage. An area that may have been a source of pain, disconnection, and expectation, can become the source of intimacy that God planned for it to be.
So, tune in (maybe with your ear buds for this one, especially if little ears are around). There’s a car analogy. There might have been some blushing on set. But if this episode helps you connect more as a couple—which we think it will—it will be worth it.
Episode 7 details:
Episode 7: One of You Wants More Sex? Here’s What’s Going On.
Release Date: April 22, 2025
Duration: 33 minutes
Summary: In this podcast episode, Jeff and Shaunti Feldhahn look at the disconnect that some couples experience around intimacy—especially focusing on the statistically common scenario of one spouse (typically the husband) desiring more intimacy than the other. They discuss common myths that feed this disconnect, and provide practical advice for couples. This episode will help you not feel alone! In fact, you’ll gain an understanding of each partner’s unique desire type—fostering a healthier and more fulfilling marriage.
Resources & Links Mentioned:
Secrets of Sex and Marriage website: secretsofsexandmarriage.com
Unlocking an Intimate Marriage
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Practical help for Real Life
Our new podcast, I Wish You Could Hear This is live now with episode 7! Listen, follow, and share with your friends on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify and other platforms.
On I Wish You Could Hear This, Jeff and I offer proven steps to help you thrive in your life, faith and relationships. In other words, we’ll offer the practical help you’ve grown accustomed to right here in this blog space.
You’ll take away specific steps that help you today.
You’ll hear not only from us but from fellow authors and friends (so you hear the good behind-the-scenes stuff!), marriage and relationship experts, everyday people, ministry leaders, and other researchers. (We promise to keep that last one fun and fascinating, not boring!)
If you are interested in having Shaunti bring research-based strategies, practical wisdom and biblical principles to your next event, please contact Nicole Owens at [email protected].
On our podcast, I Wish You Could Hear This, Jeff and I offer proven steps to help you thrive in your life, faith and relationships. In other words, we’ll offer the practical help you’ve grown accustomed to right here in this blog space. You’ll take away specific steps that help you today. Listen, follow, and share with your friends on YouTube, Apple Podcasts, Spotify and other platforms.
Please note: This post may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate we earn a small amount from qualifying purchases through these affiliate links. This doesn’t cost you anything, and helps us continue bringing you great content!
More from Shaunti’s Blog:
Fame, Faith, and Putting Marriage First
Behind the Scenes in the Speaker Life
