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Home > Archives for Surprising Secrets book

Face Conflict Head On Even When You Want to Peace-Out

February 17, 2015 by Shaunti Feldhahn Leave a Comment

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I never used to fight, but there have been a lot of fights, or almost-fights, the last few months. My husband is on the verge of losing his job in a restructuring, and we have three kids under the age of five. So he’s tense and on edge all the […]

Filed Under: Love, Patheos (Ask Shaunti), Surprising Secrets, Surprising Secrets book

Gain Lots of Mileage with Little Gestures

January 12, 2015 by Shaunti Feldhahn Leave a Comment

Dear Shaunti: I’m married to a wonderful woman whom I dearly love. The problem is, she doesn’t believe it! No matter how much I tell her I love her, how hard I work to bring home a good paycheck, how often I take the kids or do the chores so she can have time to […]

Filed Under: Patheos (Ask Shaunti), Surprising Secrets, Surprising Secrets book

Photo Credit: Ian D. Keating via Compfight cc

Killing the Divorce Myth With Kindness

December 10, 2014 by Shaunti Feldhahn 4 Comments

Many of you have written to me asking what I think about this The Atlantic article, “Masters of Love,” that has been making the rounds in cyberspace. The article shares some key research by one of my research heroes, John Gottman, and his wife Julie, about how to get to “happily ever after” in marriage and […]

Filed Under: Appreciation, Attitude, Surprising Secrets, Surprising Secrets book

Marriage Monday: Mutually Reconnect With Your Spouse After Conflict

August 22, 2014 by Shaunti Feldhahn Leave a Comment

Tip #26: When you and your mate experience hurt feelings and conflict, mutually reconnect by sharing a private signal that says “We’re okay.” When it comes to marriage, it turns out that how you end a fight is just as important as whether you avoid one. Because in any marital union – just like any […]

Filed Under: Appreciation, Commitment, Love, Marriage, Surprising Secrets, Surprising Secrets book, Time

Marriage Mondays: Get in Over Your Head

July 28, 2014 by Shaunti Feldhahn Leave a Comment

Tip #23: Get in Over Your Head Man, our culture doesn’t always make it easy to stay married, does it? One of the most bogus messages we hear about marriage is that husbands and wives should keep a little piece of themselves private. You know, like feelings you keep from your mate but share with some […]

Filed Under: Appreciation, Commitment, Love, Marriage, Surprising Secrets, Surprising Secrets book, Time

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