The 30 Day Kindness Challenge is almost here!
I hope you’ll join us for the 30-Day Kindness Challenge to give new life, health and enjoyment to your marriage or dating relationship! It’s not too late! You can join us by signing up here to receive a new challenge every day by email – or follow us on Facebook or Twitter.
About 10 years ago, in one of my first radio interviews on For Women Only, I sat down with one of my favorite people: Nancy Leigh Demoss. In one radio break, she told me, “We have some hurting women who call into our program, and we can tell them their husband needs respect, but given all that has happened, they just don’t feel respect. They need something to help change how they feel. So I’m going to issue what I call the 30-Day Challenge.”
What she shared that day rocked my world, and since then I have not only issued that challenge myself to many women and men, but have tested it extensively in my research. I’ve watched time and time again as other independent findings, such as from one of my great research heroes, John Gottman, have backed up the principles behind it.
Bottom line: I’ve found the 30-Day Kindness Challenge to be one of the best tools in existence for helping to restore a hurting relationship or making a good relationship even better!
I’ve added to the challenge and adapted it slightly over the years for many individuals, but this is the first time I’m issuing the challenge far and wide for thousands of us to do this together, at the same time!
Here’s the 30-Day Kindness Challenge in a nutshell:
- Don’t say anything negative about your husband – either to him or about him to someone else.
- Each day, find at least one thing that you appreciate and/or enjoy about your husband, and tell him and at least one other person.
- Each day, do one little act of kindness for him.
- Don’t be distracted and don’t withdraw: give your wife your full attention in conversation, at least 15 minutes a day. (And, when you are upset with each other, stay in the game five more minutes past when you want to escape.)
- Each day, find at least one thing that you enjoy or appreciate about her, and tell her.
- Each day, do one little act of kindness for her.
This means avoiding any words or tone that your spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend will perceive as negative, critical or unloving (even if you wouldn’t have taken it that way). This means looking for and saying out loud the good each day. (I promise, you’ll find it!) And it means purposefully doing something small that is kind and generous, whether that means bringing your wife coffee in the morning, leaving your husband a sticky note saying “thank you” for something he did the night before, or jumping in to do a chore that is traditionally not yours.
We’ll be throwing out ideas each day via all our various social media outlets, but you’ll come up with many of your own ideas too. We will look forward to hearing your ideas, and your stories as we go!
And if you want a very special gift for your spouse or boyfriend /girlfriend, buy a journal and don’t just say your thoughts of appreciation, but record them. Then on the last day of the Challenge, give the journal as a gift – and watch their face as they see what you’ve written!
Join us! For the next 30 days, change what you think, say and do and watch your marriage change too! Sign up here to receive a new challenge every day by email.