Breast Cancer Awareness Month: My Mom’s Story

By Charlyn Elliott

For Breast Cancer Awareness month, I’m thrilled to introduce you to someone who puts the “special” into her title of special projects director on my staff. Charlyn Elliott is my secret weapon, my dear friend, and this week, she shares a personal breast cancer story that I know will encourage your heart.

It’s been 36 years and a lifetime ago.

October has long been a bittersweet month for me. As Breast Cancer Awareness month, it’s full of reminders to get mammograms, acknowledgements of life-giving medical advances, and celebrations of breast cancer survivors like Shaunti, and probably many of you.

Yet, October is also my reminder that not every earthly battle against breast cancer is won. Not everyone rings the bell when they complete chemo. Not everyone hears the words, “You are in remission.”

For readers of faith, this creates a push-pull in our faith, doesn’t it? We know we serve a God who deeply cares about us. And He also guarantees that in this world we will have trouble (John 16:33, italics mine).

In hopes of coming alongside you in these tricky waters, I’m sharing my story with the benefit of the long view. You see, back in 1980, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer—a battle she fought valiantly for eight years before passing away on October 21, 1988. For years, my wounded heart kept asking God, “why?”

It’s really okay to say, “this is hard and I don’t like it.” And yet He reminds us in John 13:7 (“You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”) that we don’t always understand what He’s doing. It’s only later that we see. God has made this verse real to me in ways that could never be contained in a blog. But I’ve pulled three truths out of the hardest road imaginable in hopes that they will encourage your heart, too.

Truth #1: Know that God is with you

This may not always be a comfort at first. You may feel abandoned, and I do understand. Even Jesus, in His hour of greatest suffering, asked God why He had forsaken Him on the cross.

And yet if God showed us anything when He brought His love to us through His Son, He showed us that He is near. God hears you, loves you, and, he is deeply moved when you face loss (Luke 7:13, John 11:33, 38). Not only is God with you, He can unexplainably use all you’re going through for His glory. (Romans 8:28 is one of my life-verses—I cling to it often.) You may struggle to see or hear that, right now. That’s okay. I sure did.

Back in 1980, there were very few breast cancer survivors. Treatments weren’t what they are now. We knew what it meant as soon as the words, “It’s cancer,” were spoken. But God . . . He knew and He was with us even when we couldn’t see His presence. I’ll be honest, I couldn’t see him. I saw a God who was taking my mom away from me. A God who could have stopped it. A God who seemed like He was abandoning me as a teenager who needed my mom’s voice in my life.

But from a deep reservoir of faith, my mom’s vision was different. She saw a God who offered clinical trials that gave her additional years of life. She saw a God who gave her the strength to smile and a God who helped her encourage others. Her strength and light in her struggle led many who were suffering to Him! God chose to use her earthly diagnosis in eternal ways. She knew He was there.

Truth #2: It’s okay to question God

God can handle your questions. They don’t rattle Him. And, in his grace and His timing, He will give you the answers. They may not be the answers that you want or expect, and you may not even get all of them while you’re here on earth, but He has the answer to every question.

I often questioned His goodness, but He repeatedly showed me how good He was. He gave my mom more time than the doctors ever thought possible. He drew my mom and me together into incredible moments, now memories, that I cherish to this day. And He allowed mom time to share her example of living—truly living life, no matter what.

The chemo trials my mom participated in have helped doctors and many others after her. Some of the “experimental” ideas that she willingly tried back then have evolved into standards today. Through her trials (literally and medically), many others have been able to ring the bell.

Truth #3: His comfort comes in powerful and unexpected ways

This happens both in the trial and after. In my mom’s story, He provided comfort to my mom through friends who would take her “gallivanting” to get her out of the house or hospital when possible. He comforted my mom through His word, through kind glances from caregivers, and, with the assurance of what was to come. For my mom that was heaven.

For me, He has reminded me often that He collects our tears in a bottle (Psalm 56:8) and that He understands more about the pain of all of this than we can comprehend. After all, He, too, knows what it means to lose a loved one on this earth.

So, friend, if this cancer battlefield is testing your faith, be encouraged. God is so near to you. There’s no question that’s off-limits to ask. And He comforts us in all our pain, uncertainty, and fear and He IS there for us. And if you would like our team to pray for you, please reach out to us by email. We would be so honored at our next staff meeting to bring your requests before God.

And one final thing. I purposely didn’t quote the rest of John 16:33 “trouble” verse above. In its entirety, Jesus says, “In this world you will have trouble.” It’s a given. We will struggle. “But take heart,” He says, “for I have overcome the world.” No matter where we (or a loved one) might be in the cancer journey, that’s a promise we can all live for.

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If you are interested in having Shaunti bring research-based strategies, practical wisdom and biblical principles to your next event, please contact Nicole Owens at [email protected].

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