Resources

For Couples


2 is better than 1: Facing Conflict Together

Dear Shaunti, I work a lot of hours, and when I’m at home, I don’t want conflict.   Problem is, we’ve had a lot of conflict recently – we’re both stressed by some extra medical bills and headaches with our kids – and it seems a whole lot better to me to try to avoid it.  We both have good, supportive…read more →

Choose what type of couple you want to be.

Tip #52: Choose what type of couple you want to be. One night recently, I had to stop everything, and write something down. Because it was far, far too important to forget – and provides a key tip for marriages. I was speaking at a thank-you dinner for a group of people who work with married couples at a particular…read more →

Negative wife? Here’s how to stop the cycle!

My wife and I are making a concerted effort to improve our marriage. Although she is a wonderful woman and a great mother, it drives me crazy at how negative she’s become over 12 years together. She is often critical about the most insignificant things. I didn’t pick the right pajamas for the kids. I didn’t separate the laundry colors…read more →

Face Conflict Head On Even When You Want to Peace-Out

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I never used to fight, but there have been a lot of fights, or almost-fights, the last few months. My husband is on the verge of losing his job in a restructuring, and we have three kids under the age of five. So he’s tense and on edge all the time, and little irritations tend…read more →

When things get heated, be more kind.

A note from Shaunti: As many of you know, we just completed the 30 Day Kindness Challenge on Valentine’s Day.  This post is just one small go-forward reminder to all of us not to stop our efforts! Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a…read more →

CBN News: Millennials and The Good News About Marriage

A big question many Millennials are asking is, "Should I have hope for marriage?" There are so many depressing statistics about divorce circulating, sometimes even from the pulpit, that the generation often questions if a happy marriage is even possible. Best-selling author Shaunti Feldhahn says divorce isn’t the greatest threat to marriage. Discouragement is. Read more.

Husbands, say “we’re okay” before sleeping on it

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things that make a big difference in creating great marriages and relationships. Today’s post is one of a series on the surprising truths men and women tend not to know about each other–but which change everything once we do.   Tip #46: Husbands,…read more →

Gain Lots of Mileage with Little Gestures

Dear Shaunti: I’m married to a wonderful woman whom I dearly love. The problem is, she doesn’t believe it! No matter how much I tell her I love her, how hard I work to bring home a good paycheck, how often I take the kids or do the chores so she can have time to herself, she claims she “doesn’t…read more →

Wives, if your husband ever seems inconsiderate, assume he doesn’t want to be

Welcome to Marriage Mondays! Each Monday, join me as I share my top findings on the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in creating great marriages. Photo Credit: Ed Yourdon via Compfight cc Tip #44: Wives, if your husband ever seems inconsiderate, assume he doesn’t want to be Ladies, have you ever had one of those moments…read more →

Killing the Divorce Myth With Kindness

Many of you have written to me asking what I think about this The Atlantic article, “Masters of Love,” that has been making the rounds in cyberspace. The article shares some key research by one of my research heroes, John Gottman, and his wife Julie, about how to get to “happily ever after” in marriage and what can distinguish between marriage…read more →

Photo Credit: Ian D. Keating via Compfight cc