Resources


Why not take the test drive? – Part 2 (More on cohabitation, getting engaged, and getting committed)

Last week, I posted an article, “Why not take the test drive? The case against cohabitation,” on the unseen dangers of cohabitation before marriage. (As a recap: research shows that couples who live together without being engaged have a greater chance of divorce if they do get married; cohabitation increases the chances of ignoring red flags and “sliding” into marriage as…read more →

Why not take the test drive? The case against cohabitation

Dear Shaunti,   I’m a pastor who works with young couples.  As you know, most people live together before they get married and I can’t figure out how to talk to them about it.  I know from scripture that it’s a bad idea, but couples always ask “But why?”  To them, it just seems logical to try out a live-in…read more →

Women: Three phrases to never say to your husband

Ladies, if there were a reality TV show like “What NOT to Wear,” but for relationships, these three things would be at the top of the list for “What NOT to say to your man.”  Now, don’t get me wrong; I’ve actually said all these things at one point!  You’ve probably said them, too.    And you probably also saw the…read more →

Guys: 3 ways to listen well to your wife

Men, finish this sentence.  Your wife is upset and says “I don’t want you to fix it, I just want you to ____.” Most of you have heard that… and most of you are confused because you think you are listening!  So, guys, from our research about women here are 3 simple tips to clear up the confusion so you…read more →

Men: Four phrases that make you a hero to your wife

Guys, I know from the For Men Only research that you want to make your wife happy.  And in many ways you already do!  But if you want to hit the happiness jackpot, here are the four phrases that (in roughly 80% of cases) will put you into hero category: 1. “Here, let me do that…”  Saying “What can I do…read more →

Four things I would tell the woman who called me a “dumb broad”

Dear sister,   You say in your angry Amazon review of For Women Only and For Men Only, that a therapist recommended the books to help your failing marriage. Yet the For Women Only research has, in your view, made things worse by pointing out why your husband isn’t happy. (And presumably, why you aren’t, either.)  You called me a…read more →

Dads: Four Phrases a Daughter Needs to Hear From You

Dads, we know you love your daughter.  And you know you love your daughter.  But you might be surprised at much she needs to hear it.  In the research with teens and preteens for For Parents Only, I found that these four phrases have a lot more impact than you might think.  And as you’ll see, they are especially powerful…read more →

Want a Truly Happy Holiday? Four Ways You Should “Let It Go”

Embed from Getty Images “Let It Go” is more than a Frozen anthem for the pre-school set.  It’s also a hard-core success strategy for giving yourself – and those around you — a truly happy holiday!  I saw the power of a few of these little actions in the research for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, but it applies…read more →

3 things every boy needs from his mom

In more than a decade of research with thousands of men and boys over the years, one thing that has stood out is the power of a mom’s words to build her son up – or (accidentally) tear him down.  Whether your son is five or fifteen, several phrases are a big, big deal.  Here are three: 1. “I’m so…read more →