Dear Shaunti, My husband and I never used to fight, but there have been a lot of fights, or almost-fights, the last few months. My husband is on the verge of losing his job in a restructuring, and we have three kids under the age of five. So he’s tense and on edge all the…
Dear Shaunti: I’m married to a wonderful woman whom I dearly love. The problem is, she doesn’t believe it! No matter how much I tell her I love her, how hard I work to bring home a good paycheck, how often I take the kids or do the chores so she can have time to…
Many of you have written to me asking what I think about this The Atlantic article, “Masters of Love,” that has been making the rounds in cyberspace. The article shares some key research by one of my research heroes, John Gottman, and his wife Julie, about how to get to “happily ever after” in marriage and…
Tip #26: When you and your mate experience hurt feelings and conflict, mutually reconnect by sharing a private signal that says “We’re okay.” When it comes to marriage, it turns out that how you end a fight is just as important as whether you avoid one. Because in any marital union – just like any…
Tip #23: Get in Over Your Head Man, our culture doesn’t always make it easy to stay married, does it? One of the most bogus messages we hear about marriage is that husbands and wives should keep a little piece of themselves private. You know, like feelings you keep from your mate but share with some…
Author note: This is one of a series giving a sneak peek into what I discovered about what makes happy marriages so happy! After years of nationally-representative research with more than 1,000 couples, I reveal the twelve most important little habits in The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages: The Little Things That Make a…
