In Money and Marriage, Remember the Past to Have Faith in the Future
Has money been causing heartaches or coming between you and your spouse lately? Yeah? I’m so glad we are not alone! The economy, inflation, and the effects of the pandemic have caused a lot of financial stress for many of us. Our own ministry income and events were so greatly affected by COVID, we honestly didn’t know how we were going to make the numbers work. Not only do we have a family to support but we also have a staff to keep employed. Money and financial insecurity have been on our mind. A lot.
And when money stress is at the forefront of our minds — and tongues– guess what also happens? Our spouse may suddenly become a target.
We may be trying our hardest to work together as a couple, but our partner is also there when our fear and anxiety overflow. Despite having an agreed-upon budget, we may have trouble getting over the fact that our spouse went out to eat instead of packing a perfectly good lunch with the food at home. And they seem to get frustrated with us when we purchase a new item for our home office, even though we feel justified in getting it because it helps with efficiency and will make more money in the end.
When we are stressed, it is all too easy to take it out on each other. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Based on our research for Thriving in Love & Money, here’s how we can do better – advice that we ourselves have had to apply in this season!
Every Marriage Has Money Seasons – and We Need To Remember Them
If we’re honest, this season is not unique. Every season of marriage comes with financial issues that we have to talk about and deal with. Whether we’re figuring out how to make it work for a while on one income, how to pay for a child’s college education, or saving up to buy a house, it can sometimes seem hard to see how it is all going to work.
Throw in a shock like a lost job, an unexpected medical payment, or a global pandemic that pushes pause on income, and the financial insecurity becomes more real.
But again – none of this is unique. These situations ebb and flow throughout a marriage. And if we haven’t done it before, there is a way to use our financial experiences and stresses in this season to help build our faith as a couple for not only today but every season ahead. It just may look very different from what we expected.
God Says To Go Where? And Do What?
One very important way we can come together as a couple is to build our faith by remembering how God has provided throughout every other season of our life.
There’s an amazing principle we can see in the biblical book of Joshua. After years of the Israelites wandering in the desert, probably feeling like they were never going to make it to the land of promise and abundance, suddenly they were told: it is finally time! But God’s instructions sounded . . . well, scary. He told the Israelites – probably two million people at that point — to follow the priests carrying the Ark of the Covenant across the Jordan River.
Think about this message for a second. Yes, there is provision for you over there. So cross the river. Which is in flood stage. With no bridge.
God wanted them to follow the priests into the raging river? Can you imagine the people’s skepticism and fear? They had to be thinking, “This doesn’t make sense!”
However, the moment they acted in trust and actually stepped into the Jordan, the waters backed up. The entire nation crossed over on dry land. Then God told them to do something else: take stones from the center of the river and pile them where everyone could see.
Why? Every time they looked at that mound of rough stones, they would remember the astounding way God provided. Which was essential, because crossing into the Promised Land wasn’t the end of the story—it was just the beginning. In every season to come — every battle, every trial, every uncertain next step – the people of God could look at that pile of stones taken from the center of a river. Remembering what God did in the past would help them trust and obey in the future. It would help them overcome fear and skepticism and replace it with a sense of expectancy.
Find the Stones from the Journey
Friends, we have to do the same thing. We may have no idea how God will accomplish something in our lives. We may not know how we will pay the bills, get a new job, or repair the new roof after the storm. All we know is that He has promised to provide – and He has something great on the other side. We know this because as we look back, we can see that God has delivered us to the other side of our personal Jordan River again and again.
Remember when He provided those extra hours to cover the vacation we were hoping to take? Remember when God allowed us to find the perfect job at a time when we were still nursing the wound of being terminated? Remember when we got a surprise tax return for the amount needed to replace the car after it needed a massive repair?
As a couple, we need to memorialize and celebrate His faithfulness! We need to clasp hands with our spouse, run back into the Jordan, and grab those proverbial stones to pile up. Maybe that means capturing God’s faithfulness in a journal. Putting His answers on slips of paper in a mason jar. Or actually writing a word or two on smooth rocks that we place in our garden beds. But as we face the uncertainty of inflation, job insecurity, or Covid pandemic impacts we can look at that those reminders and believe God rather than our fear. Because He has delivered and provided before, and we can trust that He will do it again.
And if you are interested in having Shaunti speak on kindness for your workplace, church, school or community group, please contact Nicole Owens at nowens@shaunti.com.
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More from Shaunti’s Blog:
Back-To-School Prep – Add Kindness To The List
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 3)
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 2)
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 1)
6 Steps to Change Your Marriage for the Better (Part 2)
