Male-bashing in Commercials: What do YOU think?
I got this nicely articulated email from a guy who perfectly captures something that drives me crazy as well about this culture that so often engages in male-bashing without realizing that it IS engaging in male-bashing. Dan, I think you’re right on. All of my readers, I would love for you to take a look at his comments and tell me if you agree.
Dear Mrs. Feldhahn,
In your book “For Women Only” you mention that the culture has ways of showing disrespect for men. This is especially true in TV commercials.
Last night I saw another example.
The commercial was for the Sprint “Framily” pricing plan which allows both friends and family to be on your family plan. In those commercials the women are introduced before the men. The daughter is portrayed as an attractive and intelligent child busily working on her laptop computer. The mother is shown next lovingly smiling at the camera as she also works on a computer. However, the family’s “friend” is a sullen faced male who appears to be wearing makeup while he glares as the camera. A grandfather is briefly shown but he has no lines and seems rather silly. Finally, the father is shown last of all. He is a gerbil (literally) who lives in a clear round ball. The gerbil “father” talks to the family from inside his ball and objects that “framily” is not a word. But his daughter soon points out that he uses the word “brunch” which is also not a word so he does the same thing. Naturally, the father has to concede that she is right and he is wrong. The ad closes with a “framily” picture.
Naturally, someone has to hold the gerbil “father” who cannot even pose for a picture without help.
This ad is really insulting toward men. However, my wife and daughter don’t see anything to worry about. They do not agree that TV ads often show women as attractive, educated and productive individuals forced to correct their less informed and foolish male counterparts (or at least roll their eyes at the things he says.)
As a man it pains me to see this male bashing theme in so many TV ads. It also hurts to see my four sons growing up in a culture which portrays them as simple buffoons whose only hope for survival is to find a strong woman who will protect them from themselves.
Wives and mothers should take this trend more seriously. They should not just brush this concern aside by saying “It’s all in fun” or “just take it like a man.” They should realize this culture of male bashing means the men in their lives have an even greater need to hear positive and supportive messages from the women who love them.
Thanks for listening.
Dan Carey
Image credit: “Hamster in a Wheel” by Dan Derrett is licensed under CC BY 2.0.
Dan, I wholeheartedly agree with you on this. I’m extremely fortunate that my wife and daughter would agree as well. Our society has taken the man out of manhood for the sake of being trendy. Which has made more men passive and afraid to speak up. Just my opinion.
Luckily my wife and I don’t watch a ton of TV, and typically when we’re watching it’s something that was DVR’d so we can skip the commercials. But that makes it even more shocking to me when we see these kinds of ads. My wife isn’t as bothered by them as I am, but I can understand why. I’m nothing like the fathers portrayed in these commercials, and neither is her father. So the humor works for her because the situations are absurd enough to basically just be funny to her. If there were more commercials that portrayed men in a positive light, then I don’t think ones like the Framily commercial would be much of a problem. We need more commercials like this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I4SYI1UsTD8
That commercial is painful just to read about. The really sad part is that the male role in our society, particularly the role of father, is being linked in research to more and more issues that kids face. Without a father who engages, supports, and even just talks with the kids, they struggle. Fathers and husbands are on the front lines, in society and in the family.
I heard recently (I’m sorry I don’t remember who I am quoting) that the headship the Bible talks about with regard to husbands is to take a lead in service. Men lead. We need their leadership and service, we as women and we as a society. That doesn’t mean women don’t lead, too, but it is men’s God-given design to lead.
I am sorry that the pendulum has swung so far that women and our society have to emasculate men when they so completely deserve our respect for the roles they play in our lives.
AT&T seems to be taking the lead where male bashing is concerned. Their latest one featuring a group of female Real Estate Agents and one bufoon male agent is the latest in a long series of commercials llike this. I grew up with a strong father and have emulated him my entire life. My wife and three daughters appreciate a husband and father who is sensitive, caring and all man at the same time. Commercials aren’t the only offender. Most sitcoms are the same way. And it’s getting progressively worse. I really started to notice it years ago with the show Friends. I find this show very offensive. Every male character is a bufoon and subject to ridicule. Even the male with a PhD is a total bufoon. The sitcoms and commercials continue to destroy the traditional male image. If the sex of the characters on tv was reversed it would be considered outrageous, but I guess it’s OK to do this to men. This country needs more men to stand up and acting like men and not accept this emasculation.
The real problem with this is the multitude of children who live in homes without a father to off-set that negative stereotype. What are boys to think of themselves as males and their roles as fathers, husbands, and men? And what are girls to think of what kind of men they should be attracted to? What messages are we programming into the minds of our children?
I wonder what the response would be if all TV commercials portrayed mom as a bumbling idiot and dad as a the competent one?
I’m sooooo sick of seeing male characters in commercials characterized as baboons, effeminate, really stupid, etc. The male characters are usually shown in the shadows of the “strong” (read disrespectful) female character. Taking it one step further, child characters are included in the disrespect. I email my displeasure to the companies but to date only one has replied (with a stock reply). Thank you.
There’s a Lowe’s Home Improvement commercial were a man along with the kids trash the kitchen while the smarter businesswoman checks in on them.
From the time when I was in junior high (mid 70’s) to the present, I have seen the demise of the good male role model and the takeover of the Amazon woman in all aspects of the media, and I hated it. I hated the way the “all-knowing” woman would triumphantly voice reason and solve all the problems, while the male fumbled around in the dark. It is the third chapter in Genesis all over again.
Is this equality? I think not.
You are right on! Although I haven’t seen this particular commercial, our culture is filled with this nonsense. I spend a great deal of time in my classroom pointing out the fallacies that our culture perpetrates against men. Unfortunately, I could teach an entire course on the abuses. Thanks for pointing this out and for doing what you do.
Seriously ? Yet you post a meme about the differences between men and women , where the woman spends hours getting made up and is never ready on time . You label women EVERYTIME you post a blog . As weaker and in need of someone to lead them . You are Constantly reminding women to show respect , and not question . That the man should make decisions . This is offensive to the intelligence of women . You also focus on the woman’s need to feel beautiful and loveable and that they should be available sexually as needed . I find this type of labeling just as offensive as a woman as you all think these commercials are to a man .
I agree with you Gary Hinkle, for the sake of being trendy, it is not funny or appropriate to bash men just as it’s not right, like in the past, to sexually exploit young women, the so-called dumb blonde commercials and jokes in men’s magazines. That taught little girls that their only worth was how “large” they were in certain areas. That went on for decades. And by no means should that be a reason to bash men in the media.
Why is man bashing a bad thing? Because man bashing creates misogyny. What makes man bashing fun for those who engage in it is the knowledge that many men find it infuriating and eventually they respond by denigrating and oppressing women or worse.
Considering all the women who are murdered each year by men with anger problems toward women in general, it is time to ask what role man bashing plays.
This doesn’t just happen in commercials. Remember Tim, The Tool Man? He was also portrayed to be the buffoon of the family as was the guy from Married With Children. There are different qualities between males & females but it is wrong to say that either is superior or inferior to the other.