How Healthy He is Matters to Her
I don’t think there are many who would be surprised to hear that in my interviews and surveys with over 1,000 men for my book For Women Only, men emphatically stated that it had an emotional impact to see that their wife was making an effort to take care of herself for him.
It makes a guy feel loved because she obviously wants to be attractive to him. They don’t expect their wives to look like supermodels, but the care and effort makes them feel loved – and helps in fighting off the many visual challenges they face in their thought life every day.
But what guys may not realize is that even though women aren’t as “visual” as men are, the effort they put into taking care of themselves and being healthy has a huge impact on women. I know from my research that every man wants to feel desired by his wife – and that feeling desired gives them confidence in every other area of their life.
This is a bit awkward to talk about but in my women’s conferences there have been a lot of women who say, “Doesn’t he get it? That it’s hard to find him desirable when HE doesn’t take care of himself?” Or, even more commonly, “Doesn’t he understand how important it is to me that he stays healthy so I have the security that he is going to be around for a long time and we can grow old together?”
Jeff agrees and says “If we want our wives to find us desirable and provide them security that means we have to make the effort to take care of ourselves too. Most guys wish their wives would be more receptive to their physical advances and more passionate in the bedroom. In our interviews and surveys of women, many of them have privately said, “You know, it’s hard to be receptive and passionate towards a guy with a two-day-old beard and garlic breath!”
And the bigger health issues matter even more – and it’s not just about working out to stay in shape. Believe it or not, women actually feel more love and desire toward a guy who will actually go to the doctor when something seems wrong rather than being stubborn about it!
Guys may not realize it, but when they’re in front of the TV multiple nights in a row with their hand in a package of Oreos, it can register in a woman’s heart as, “It must not matter to him how much I need him.”
And one last plea to our guys: realize that most women are very sensitive about looking good for you, and if she is trying to get in shape or lose weight, it is so much easier if you care about it to. If you will lend her encouragement by using her initiative as a chance to join in, and avoid bringing the junk food into the house it will make her feel really loved.
What’s amazing is that God can use this as such an encouragement to both of you – seeing the other person making the effort to care for themselves—knowing it will benefit their mate. What a great way to be there for our spouse—now and for a very long time to come!
My husband has been very gracious to me as I have battled the bulge through the years and it has spoken volumes to me about his unconditional love.
In recent years the tables have turned, not with respect to weight control, but in eating healthy. He has joined the ranks of those with increasing cholesterol numbers and has moved from enjoying a favorite dessert in the evening to eating a boiled egg and a piece of fruit! What a guy. He now eats lots of vegetables (many raw) and very little grains and dairy. His cholesterol report card has improved.
Maybe there are six love languages, the sixth being food consumption!
By the way, I have finally figured out how to maintain my weight at a healthy place: no grains, particularly wheat; little dairy and little fruit. It took a while to adjust but the truth is,I am happier with me when my weight is down, too!
This is soooo true,I’m a teen that works outside & does some exercises on the side – & I really appreciate a guy that looks good, if I see a guy that has too much weight on him I don’t care to be around him took much because it makes it look like I don’t care. My bro is good looking & I’m working on getting better, so I know that it’s not too hard for a good percentage of the population. I like muscle on a guy (& gals) I think it shows that they do something more than sit around playing video games (I never do) or watching some one else work. Thumbs up to hard working folks!!!!!
Haha, it makes me laugh to read this: “You know, it’s hard to be receptive and passionate towards a guy with a two-day-old beard and garlic breath!”
I LOVE it when my guy has a two-day-old beard, or three or four days old! I find it so attractive! And garlic breath, well, I absolutely love garlic and usually when he ate it, I ate it as well so then we don’t smell each other!
As usual, you hit the nail on the head, Shaunti. This topic is not covered nearly enough–yeah, yeah, we know you’re “visual” but that doesn’t mean you can just be a sedentary slob while we women have all the pressure in the world to stay young-looking and trim. Ain’t fair at all. Join the club, guys!