What Do Women/Men Really Want?

Many of us laughed years ago while watching Mel Gibson try to figure out What Women Want. The things he thought women wanted turned out to be the very things that turned them off. What was the problem? He was clueless about the real need of women. The same thing could likely be said of us as women in identifying the real need of men. Here is a clip from the For Couples Only DVD Study, including interviews with men and women as well as Jeff and I putting it all together by sharing the findings of our research.


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  1. My husband and I discovered “For Women/Men Only” when we read them on vacation. They really enhanced our (already great) relationship. At that time my husband was an Associate Pastor overseeing the marriage and single ministries. We used your books to teach a series for relationships to each group. Everyone loved the series. We recently were called to a small church in a little community in Northern California as senior pastor. We are excited about the updated “Women/Men” books and are really excited about the DVD series and Couple Only study. I believe that this would be a great tool to encourage the people in our church. Thanks Shaunti for being obedient to God’s call on your life!
    God Bless!

    Marci Barnes

  2. Two years ago a group of 8 ladies went through “For Women Only” – there was so much talk about it, we then offered it as a Sunday school class where about 30 women attended.

    Then the MEN wanted to get in on it all, so my husband taught “For Men Only” to a group of about 20 men. It still gets talked about regularly – much laughter came from that classroom!

    Well, I was asked if I would lead another small group of 11 women in a home through “FWO” – last week we went through Chapter 4! (sex chapter!) We have two new brides in our group! It was wonderful!! Two weeks to go.

    We have already purchased “For Couples Only” to start a fall Sunday School class with! One of the new brides is sooooo excited to go through it with her hubby.

    Love the verse you build FWO on – Proverbs 24:3-4. If we don’t “know” something we will never understand it. THANKS SO MUCH FOR GETTING US INTO THE KNOW!!

    Reminders are needed often – I have benefited all three times through FWO – Looking to grow more during FCO!!

    God Bless.

  3. Jeff and Shaunti, I’ve only been married 18 months and my husband and I have conversations about these topics almost weekly! My husband stresses he wants to be a great provider and that he’s everything I want him to be. I’m grateful, but I still need that feeling of love! He will ask me what can he do to make me feel loved…. But I can never verbalize it! I can relate to having a disagreement with my husband and worrying if he will come home after work; while he’s enjoying his day and haven’t thought about the argument! We have a great marriage, just need to brush up these areas. I believe your books and DVD can help us better verbalize our needs and continue having a great marriage.

  4. What perfect timing God has! I was just recommending these books to a friend of mine and thinking about how I needed to re-read them myself while we were discussing the issues in our marriages. This study would be perfect for us to all do together! (If only I could get my hands on the set)

  5. Great stuff. This would be a great tool for anyone. My wife and I will celebrate our first year anniversary in under two weeks. Guess what book she was reading last night…For Men Only. LOL

  6. For Women Only changed my marriage, and showed me how important working at my relationship with my husband is. Reviewing these topics often, helps us to keep our marriage on track.

  7. The For Women Only has been my wedding shower gift to so many young ladies for the past 3 years, when I first read it. I get invited to a lot of wedding showers…. I volunteered with our youth group for the past 10 years. Recently, I’ve started volunteering with the young adults and singles ministry, I’d love to do the study with the ladies. I’m so thankful for Shaunti doing the research and putting herself out there to be the woman to say, “we don’t understand” men just as much as they don’t understand us.

  8. These books have been life changing for me! I share them with all my friends because they helped me learn so much about my husband! Now I just need to get HIM to read it! I plan on sharing this video with him tonight. He’s not much of a reader but maybe the DVDs would work for him. It’d be great to be more understood by him. Thanks so much!

  9. I am so grateful for this super important Bible study! I am currently leading a FWO Life Group at my home and I am looking forward to see what God continues to reveal to all of us. I am hoping this study grows into or church connection classes. My future goal is to lead a FCO study for both men and women! I recently gave the FWO book as a bridal shower gift and the bride has already gained some wisdom from your book. Thank you so much for demonstrating your love for God through these Bible studies.

  10. I would love to win a set! My husband and I heard you at a marriage conference last year talking about this series and I’ve been following your posts on Facebook! I think it could be very helpful in our new marriage!!

  11. I know that one of the key components to a solid relationship is understanding the other person and having other person feel understood. I love the way these books major on how to communicate. We all know that communication is key, but how to do it can be tricky.

  12. These studies sound amazing. I already learned alot just from this one session. Thanks for the chance to win!

  13. I love these books. Learned a lot from them and recommend them to others often. They are a staple book in the bookstore I run at my church.

  14. I absolutely love this!! My husband and I had the privilege of leading a small group bible study a few years ago on the FWO/FMO series, we had so many people say that they enjoyed the series. I would love to see this new couples series done at our church. I believe that all couples should be armed as much as possible in this day and age with so many divorces. Keep up the great work guys!!

  15. I first read “For Women Only” when I was about 16 -and not even married!- and thought it one of the truly greatest books! I’ve been buying more of Shaunti’s books, looking for them in the library, talking to friends and family and recommend them to EVERYONE! May God reach and bless many others through this work and ministry!

  16. Your books are the perfect gift for all marriages, new and old. I have learned so much and my marriage has been helped because of it. Thank you.

  17. Love your wisdom and biblical insights! In this world that’s gone dark to the power of what real love and respect truly are, you help, shine Gods light on truth about marriage, commitment, and how your partner was designed to give and recieve love.
    Through my own painful journey, Gods wisdom, and my self education on how men think, what men need to feel loved! Your lessons are all confirming to my never ending lessons on life, love, and relationships. Thank you for your faithful stewardship and life lessons!
    I hope to pass on your teachings along my mission to educate others, and increase awareness!
    Suzanne S.

  18. Excellent information that should and NEEDS to be absorbed by both sexes! My husband and I both read the respective books for women and men and what an eye opening book for EACH of us! Since that time, we’ve given the books as gifts many, many times. I wonder how many couples would NOT divorce if they had just understood one another by reading your books. Great work and much appreciated.

  19. I had no idea how much my husband needed to feel respected and that he “measured up”. Such important information needs to be shared.

  20. My husband purchased these books a while back and I had started reading it and did not finish. I recently picked up the book again and so far where I left us has very useful and important information regarding on how to understand my hubby. Thank you so much for allowing God to use you for the health of marriages.

    God bless you Shaunti!

  21. Wow, I have never read any of their material before but after watching this clip I will definitely get ahold of this. So down to Earth and straightforward. Can’t wait to see the rest of it.

  22. Recently my wife of 39 years passed into the loving arms of Jesus.
    I have recommended and given your books to dozens of young people over the years and now have the opportunity to introduce my prospective bride to this updated series.
    One caution I would offer to new readers. Do not assume because the information seems intuitive that you have truly understood the message and all its implications. I found myself in that trap (thinking: I already know that). This may seem simple on the surface which belies the profundity of the knowledge.

  23. i just walked into my bedroom and made sure my wife knew that i would marry her all over again. sort of ironic considering our 7 year anniversary is coming up on the 25th. no matter how many times we hear messages like these, its always a good refresher and much needed. my wife and i both had the opportunity to experience the for men only and for women only at a church we use to attend. we have since moved on to another church, and have joined a small group that we absolutely love!! our leaders are great, and i would LOVE the opportunity to share these studies with them and the rest of our group. thanks for the opportunity to win such an amazing series!!

    God bless………. 🙂

  24. My husband and I are called to minister to married couples and families. We are always looking for great resources to use in the ministry. I really enjoyed the video clip and look forward to using this resource. Blessings to your ministry!

  25. It would have been great to learn all these differences earlier in life but I am glad to have them now and to see the difference it makes in a relationship. I look forward to helping others learn about them too.


  26. I “accidentally” discovered For Couples Only, and both my husband and enjoyed reading and discussing the books together. The quick read and easy layout deal with relevant issues that opens the door for many discussions. As leaders in the Marraige Prep/counseling ministry we have used these books, with success, for resisting couples during classes. Everyone comes to the classes expecting to be bored but your books keep the conversation going and every individual walks away feeling encouraged with who they are while accepting their future spouse for who they are. We are getting ready to meet with another couple and to discover a DVD series on all three books is FANTASTIC! Thank you for making a difficult task more enjoyable for everyone involved! I hope I win the set as I wanted to buy it to use!!! God Bless!

  27. My husband and I are leading a small group for young marrieds in our church. Your material would have helped us so much if we had learned it earlier in our marriage!! We are excited to share it with all the young men and women we know!!

  28. This set of books was used in our premarital counseling. Great set of books. Easy to read and great info. Would love to present the set to out church.

  29. Wow, it is reassuring to know that men are O.K. with things going wrong as long as they receive compliments and positive feedback from women.

  30. Oh my! So true!
    I find this very interesting! An I really want to show my husband respect an appreciation!

  31. Excited to have a chance to win the DVD study! I’ve read For Women Only and loved it; truly an eye opener.

  32. I first read your books for younger people five years ago or so. Now in our second year of marriage, I’m convinced we’ve avoided many arguments and conflicts because of practicing the principles you teach. Thanks, Jeff and Shaunti!

  33. Thanks so much for this wonderful tool to help marriages! I did not realize that men felt so insecure under all the bravado! now I know what to do when! Thanks thanks thanks!!!!!

  34. I discovered For Men Only and immediately bought For Women Only. I was leading a singles group and loaned the books out constantly. Then I started buying them to give as gifts. After my marriage I gave them out to couples who were struggling and I know several marriages that were saved through reading the books. I am looking forward to using the video series with a couple’s small group that I want to form. Thank you for these great resources.

  35. Love the clip! Excellent information. I would like to see more. Hope it includes practical ideas as well as the basis for the behaviors.

    I have read FWO, and I found the information truly inspiring and insightful. It made so much sense, yet it’s difficult sometimes to put into practice!

    I would love to be able to take (or offer!) a group study at my church using these resources. I may have to look into that… 😀

  36. Thank you for writing these books. They have helped me understand my husband of 19 years (and 11 children!) better and he to understand me better. I wish you luck with your new series and look forward to reading your series again!

  37. My husband and I were introduced to the book series when we were going through a tough time. We thought we knew about each other as male and female and what we needed. Boy, were we mistaken! These books are SO compelling that I too have been inspired from these books, as well as Dr. Emerson Eggerich’s “Love and Respect” during our trying time as a newly married couple. We’ve been married for four years now, and I still am rejuvenated whenever I take the time to read it, and remember what’s most important about my husband. I’ve been having other women (both married and on the dating scene) borrow our texts for their reference, due to my praise and adoration of your findings. They have had the same reaction as we had: “I’ve never known about that before!” or “That explains SO much!”
    I’m really excited to find out about your new findings with the revised versions of the texts, and had no idea that you were putting it altogether in a DVD series. This would be an AMAZING teaching tool for both all-men and all-women classes. I pray that your decision making will go smoothly for giving away this incredible prize, and that the recipient will find it extremely helpful with inspiring their own and other marriages to be most successful.
    Thank you for your work, efforts and for sharing with all of us one of THE most encouraging and uplifting texts I’ve ever read!

  38. I have a couple of your books and love them. DVD series are great because, instead of sitting down and reading, my husband would be more likely to sit down and watch it. This is a great series that would be wonderful to share.

  39. Great information. The reminders of the way we think/feel is very helpful and eye opening for both men/women. Reviewing our natural tendencies can help improve our relationship, and have a better understanding of where each other is coming from. Would love to learn more!

  40. Thank you for sharing your amazing gift!!! My community has been drowned in divorce and separation. The pain that has been placed up on the hearts of the children is unbearable to watch. Two summers ago my husband and I co-hosted a couples hot summer nights with Gary Smalleys Keys to a Loving Relationship. I think it is time for us to host fall cozy nights by the fire and make sure all of our friends who are suffering with their feelings of being unloved and inadequate come. Who knows, they may see the truth of God and the false lies of the world and reunite. We are going to pray hard. Thank you again for sharing the wisdom God has given to you.

  41. Looking forward to doing this study eitheer this fall or winter. It would be great to win, but I am glad that the price is reasonable. Thanks for developing these resources. I honestly can’t believe some of the different ways we thinkk… Still!!!!

    God Bless!

    Dina Zugar

  42. Congratulations to the winner of the DVD Study…Dina Zugar!! Keep an eye out for more giveaways from Shaunti!

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