Q & A Visually Wired

Shaunti explains how the brain wiring of men causes them to receive visual input and cautions women about reacting  to this physiological design in a way that actually distances them from their spouse.








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  1. I find this too hard to take. I simply cannot and will not accept someone who makes me feel lesser or disrespected. I think many women would agree that to feel love and respected is the same thing. If men talked about what they thought out loud, and if it included thoughts of other women, the women would be so hurt she could not marry him. I think women need respect just like men do. Love=respect. Also, I think women should not be inferior to men by stating that men have the hard time being loyal/not looking at others. Fireproof is a movie that shows how hurt the women is, and how she nearly leaves her husband for having a pornography addiction, or even just viewing it. I don’t draw a line between having difficulty looking at others/viewing pornography.

  2. This is Shaunti’s assistant responding on her behalf. There is no excuse for a wife being made to feel lesser or disrespected. This is another issue altogether, separate from the issue Shaunti discusses in this video clip. You are right in stating that respect is also important to women. Certainly, if a woman feels disrespected, she also feels unloved. As Shaunti clearly states, she is not giving men a free pass to lustfully gawk at other women or to be in any way unfaithful to their wives. She is simply stating the difference in the way men and women are wired. This difference can make it difficult for us as wives to understand how hard this struggle can be for our men. In For Men Only, Shaunti addresses areas in which men need to understand the differences in their wives and not see them as areas of weakness as well.

  3. Dilicona, my understanding of what Joanne was writing was that she feels the ‘wiring’ itself to be hurtful not just the actual looking as feeling disrespectful or making her feel lees than. Shaunti understood this in her first edition of For Women Only when she shared about her pain about knowing her husband had any DESIRE to WANT to look but that was toned down in her second edition. In fact, she looks very comfortable with the idea in this video as though it means nothing, reassuring other women who are just as upset as she initially was at this insight.
    No matter how it is explained, excused or ignored the fact remains that for many women it is painful to give of yourself to someone who is ‘wired’ at his core to want other women. Writing about the female response to this in For Men Only by explaining a woman’s feelings around this only educates the husband to guard his eyes out of respect but does not address the issue that it will unequal for women to love with all of themselves while their husbands got to struggle with his bodily drive toward other women. For me personally I am dismayed that my husband has to struggle to have me first in his bodily desire in the way he is in mine. Sadly I feel it has moved me from seeing him as my lover to a man I am married to.

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