Many of you have written to me asking what I think about this The Atlantic article, “Masters of Love,” that has been making the rounds in cyberspace. The article shares some key research by one of my research heroes, John Gottman, and his wife Julie, about how to get to “happily ever after” in marriage and…
Marriage Tip: Wives, since processing your husband’s decisions out loud can sometimes come across as painful disrespect or questioning his judgment, think in advance about how to say it so he doesn’t misunderstand what you are saying. Has your husband ever gotten upset when you start talking through a suggestion he’s brought to you? Yeah?…
Marriage Tip: In a second marriage, be “all in” instead of trying to protect yourself… and don’t believe the myth of the high divorce rate. If you’re on your second marriage, you’ve probably heard – many times! – that your odds aren’t good. Maybe your first marriage ended in divorce and you entered a new…
Marriage Tip: Recognize that taking care of yourself says “I care about you” to your spouse; it isn’t about looking like you walked off a magazine cover, but about your spouse seeing you are willing to make the effort to take care of yourself for them. Most of us are not the size we were…
Tip #26: When you and your mate experience hurt feelings and conflict, mutually reconnect by sharing a private signal that says “We’re okay.” When it comes to marriage, it turns out that how you end a fight is just as important as whether you avoid one. Because in any marital union – just like any…
Tip #25: Women, when you know you need to ask your husband to accept guidance or help, and you know he might feel painfully inadequate as a result, say it with kindness and in a way that makes it about your need rather than his failure. One of the things I was most surprised by,…
