Finding Contentment in the Everyday: Embracing the Lost Art of Doing Nothing

I am delighted this week to hand the keys to the car over to my Staff and Operations Director Eileen Kirkland. She keeps this ministry organized (and keeps me sane!)—and as you’ll also read in her guest blog this week, she keeps things real with her teenage kids. I hope her words encourage you to find contentment in the everyday things. – Shaunti 

I’m in the mad dash of “finals” with my soon-to-be college kids. Not finals as in tests – thank goodness, they’re the ones dealing with that. But final basketball games. Final musical. Final long winter weekend where we can plan a getaway before they go off to college next fall. 

So, when a four-day weekend rolled around recently, the temptation was there to plan a ski vacation or take a trip to a sunny beach. Yet following a recent Sunday sermon, I felt the Holy Spirit whispering: “Stay home.” 

What?  

My pastor was teaching on God’s view of work, and this particular Sunday focused on contentment. I have a ministry job. I love what I do. I adore the people I work with . Still, I felt the Holy Spirit inviting me to consider this question: “In what other areas of life could this apply?” 

And I discovered it was my other job. Parenting two high school seniors. 

If you’re in this stage of life, you know that you talk to the Lord about your kids even more when they’re getting ready to leave the nest.  

Have I done all I need to do in order to successfully launch them into the world in the fall?  

Have I modeled for them how to enjoy the simple things?  

Have I shown them how to rest, love, and enjoy what is right in front of them? 

Trust me, I wanted to make family memories on this four-day weekend! I wondered how bored we would all be or what opportunities we would miss. Plus, everyone we knew had plans to go somewhere. 

And yet, as they move on to college and beyond they will spend many weekends without big plans.  They will have to decide how to fill their time.  

As my pastor reminded me, that’s where Philippians 4:13 comes in. This popular refrigerator magnet verse says “I can do anything through Christ … ” But does it? The verses prior focus on contentment! 

“I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ¹³I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” 

Philippians 4:11-13 (NLT) 

Could it be that what the Lord is saying here is not that I can run a marathon with the proper preparation or I should start the business I have always dreamed of? Maybe what He’s actually saying is that I can be full whether I have a lot or a little, whether I have plenty or I am in need, whether I have a big weekend adventure planned or I am going to stay home for four days with my teenagers? Maybe this verse is not about ability as much as it is about contentment. 

And you know what? We had the best weekend!  

My kids went to the gym, played outside, got extra rest, watched sports, did some shopping, and tried a few new restaurants. As a family , we cheered on our high school girls basketball team in the region tournament. And since we were in town, we got the great surprise of one of our best friends coming home from college for the weekend. 

All four of us were able to reflect on the weekend and truly be grateful for the time we spent together, the simple things we did close to home, and for the rest we all got to prepare us for a busy few weeks ahead. 

What I discovered is what I hope you do, too: that contentment is available to our families no matter what stage of parenting we’re in and what is on our calendar. Here are some practical tips to recapture the lost art of just doing nothing. 

1. Ask the Lord for guidance about your parenting decisions (big ones and the small!) 

We can never underestimate the power of inviting the Lord into our parenting decisions and our schedules. He is infinitely creative! If we actually leave margin in our lives, He can fill it with His presence and His plans. 

2. Pray for your children (and your friends’ children) 

Time spent with the Lord talking about babies, toddlers, school-age kids, and young adults is sure to change your view of them and “your plans” for them. Plus, it will model the importance of prayer, perhaps even readying their hearts in the process. 

3. Let your kids be “bored.”  

The Lord can work in beautiful ways when we are not filling up all our time. 

Boredom has many benefits for kids of all ages, including creativity, self-esteem, and original thinking. Here are three really practical ways to handle the “I’m bored” refrain in your home: 

• Don’t be too quick to purge toys and games your kids have “outgrown.” You might be surprised at the race car tracks or board games your children pull out of the closet after the “suggested age.” 

• Always have the raw materials for creativity on hand. No matter what ages your kids are, keep markers, paper, glue, glitter (yes, it is a mess but it is worth it) scissors and things like that stocked.   

• Model “boredom!” Answer the email later. Clean the kitchen in the morning. Sit in front of a fire pit or read a good book. Stop what you are doing to play cornhole or shoot baskets with your kids. Make a card for a neighbor. 

Contentment is an attitude that says, “I will be satisfied with what God has given me.” This is my prayer for my kids – maybe you can pray it for your kids, too?  

God please help me to derive my satisfaction from You first and foremost and give me the eyes to see and cherish all the gifts You have placed around me. 

After joining Shaunti’s staff in 2018, Eileen Kirkland now serves as the Staff and Operations director. She makes her home in Atlanta with her husband of 20 years. They have two high school seniors (but they’re not twins! How’s that for a riddle?) and a new puppy, who has not yet learned the art of being bored. 

If you are interested in having Shaunti bring research-based strategies, practical wisdom and biblical principles to your next event, please contact Nicole Owens at [email protected].

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