All the Mommy Ladies: What You Said About Being a Mom
I once heard an exhausted mom say, “If God wanted me to really love parenting, then He should have put a little more bling on it.”
Which of course started a Beyoncé song in my head. (I couldn’t help myself. See my very rough young-mom version below.)
But it also got me thinking. Why DO we love parenting? Like, specifically, why? Everyone knows the reasons why being a Mom is hard. But as I’ve outlined in several blogs recently (here and here), one of the most important factors for changing “hard” to “happy” in any endeavor is to practice gratitude. To do what Philippians 4:8 calls “thinking on” whatever is worthy of praise in that situation. If we want to love something hard, we need to find something (many somethings!) to be glad for.
So in this Mother’s Day week, I decided to ask you: What do YOU like most about being a Mom? In other words, what are those things that we can learn to see and rejoice in, even when our kids are sassy, we’re exhausted, bad choices are made, siblings are squabbling, and worries abound?
Ninety of you responded and here’s what you said.
Here’s what I love about this. First of all, 99% of the women answered that right now they loved being a mom. We all know there are moments when we have feelings of discontent in motherhood but it is encouraging to see that most of us agree there is so much more to celebrate.
Second, I was fascinated to see that more women chose one particular option than almost all the other options put together: “Watching my children grow and the journey to becoming their own person, with their own unique, God-given personality.” And this was the main option that focused on the future.
So here’s one quasi-scientific idea that comes from all of this, for all the sweet moms looking blearily at their screens right now. The next time things get hard, don’t focus on the now. Focus on the person your child is becoming. Look for the vision of the future that is already there in the young face and wide eyes of the little person in front of you. Even when that little person in front of you is a slightly sarcastic / interrupting / whiny / hungry / arguing / bored version of themselves, look at the opportunity you have to not just see but mold who they are becoming. Sure, she is sarcastic today, but that can be honed into a dry wit that is kind but has a great sense of humor. Yes, he interrupts you every chance he gets, but he’s passionate about things and has an extroverted personality; once he matures a bit, he will be a great leader. Look for those good things. (As one Mom replied to the poll, what she loves most is “The surprising ways my kids can make me go from 0 to crazy, and from fuming to LOL in 0.2 seconds.”)
But what about the concerning personality issues, challenges, and character habits that you truly worry about for the future – that you can’t be grateful for? Even there, we have something we can be grateful for: the fact that guiding and directing them toward a healthy future is not all on us. God is their Heavenly Father, is far more invested in them than we are, and actually has the power we do not to open eyes, transform trajectories, and change hearts.
It is easy to get wrapped up in the day to day. But to have gratitude, we can look to the future. And just maybe, one day, we’ll be answering a poll like this woman. Who said that what she loves most about being a Mom is: “Watching my daughter become a mother and giving me grandchildren.”
As promised (or threatened!) here’s what I couldn’t help quickly throwing together when the Beyoncé song came to mind. (Be gentle with the comments. I get enough rolled eyes from my children!)
All the Mommy Ladies
All the mommy ladies, all the mommy ladies
All the mommy ladies, all the mommy ladies
All the mommy ladies, all the mommy ladies
All the mommy ladies, all the mommy ladies
Now put your hands up
We’re in the club, we just got sassed
God, remind me why I’m doing this Mom thing
My girl decided to trip me, get me dipsy
Then her baby brother spit up on meI’m mad at them, they’re mad at me
Despite all my time and attention
Just cried my tears, for these good years
Y’all don’t appreciate me.God, for me to like it then you should have put a bling on it
For me to like it then you should have put a bling on it
Don’t be mad when you see I don’t want it
But to like it maybe I can put a bling on itOh, oh, oh…!
Oh to like it maybe I can put a bling on it
So to like it maybe I should put a bling on it
Can’t be stupid and decide I don’t want it
I wanna like it, so I’ll start to put a bling on itI got nuthin’ on my lips, a babe on my hips
Got all comfy in my loose Mom jeans
Kids acting up, slinging sippy cups
Could care less what people thinkI need no permission, did I mention
Don’t give mistakes any attention
God you’ve given me, what you knew I’d need:
What it really feels like to love deepI wanna love it, so I’ll start to put a bling on it
This is precious, this is lovely, this has grace to it
This is tiring but eternal, it is You doing it
I am grateful, I am honored, thank You for itOh, oh, oh!
More from Shaunti’s Blog:
Back-To-School Prep – Add Kindness To The List
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 3)
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 2)
When Life (and Relationships) Aren’t What You Hoped (Part 1)
6 Steps to Change Your Marriage for the Better (Part 2)
God did Put bling on being a mommy. It’s the hug around your neck. The mischievous grin. The giggles and grins that spark joy in your heart.
It’s being caught off-guard with the chance remark of wisdom that causes you to pause and ponder.
Great article, Shaunti.
I love this so much! I was one of those moms who struggled to enjoy motherhood when my kids were really little, but I really enjoyed watching them grow and come into their own. Now that they are adult men, I’m amazed and pleased by who they’ve become. What a joy to be their mom!