Unhealthy Husband = Unhappy Wife: How to Change the Equation
A few years ago I got a letter from a husband whose wife was frustrated with his health. He was struggling with his job, they were behind on their bills and due to feeling so low, he was making poor food choices that gained him 30 pounds in one year and landed him in the emergency room a few times due to his diabetes. To say that it was having a negative impact on their marriage was a huge understatement! He didn’t know what to do because he felt like he was in a rut but he definitely didn’t want to lose his wife!
Maybe you’re in a similar situation—not in the best physical shape because you haven’t been taking care of yourself and now it’s catching up with you. Is your wife showing signs of frustration? Here are a few things to remember when your wife is frustrated by your unhealthy habits:
Men Want Their Wives To Take Care of Themselves
Why does this matter to your wife? Well, here’s a parallel you might appreciate. In my research for For Women Only, I found that it was emotionally important to men that their wives take care of themselves. That didn’t mean they wanted their wives to suddenly look like a Victoria’s Secret model, but just to do things like sometimes changing out of the ratty sweatpants or staying in enough physical shape to go out and do things together. The men said they simply felt cared for when they saw their wives making those efforts to take care of themselves.
Wives Also Want Their Husbands To Take Care Of Themselves
Well, guess what—it works the same way for most women. And just like men don’t expect a bikini model, we women don’t expect a carbon copy of Brad Pitt. But we do want our guy to make an effort to take care of himself.
Respond To Your Wife’s Care And Concern By Taking The First Step
If your wife is showing signs of frustration, it’s probably because she’s afraid of losing you. If you need to take better care of yourself, take a deep breath and force yourself to take one step at a time.Ask your wife for one or two little things you could do that would make a big difference to her. Maybe it’s changing your eating habits for better nutrition and maintaining a healthy weight. Maybe it’s being willing to take a walk each night after dinner. Maybe it means you go to the doctor for your annual physical . . . and then follow his recommendations.
You certainly don’t need to accomplish something as big and overwhelming as a marathon or triathlon… but you do need to start. You might be surprised at the distance you cover in your relationship just by taking that first step!
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Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her latest book, Find Rest: A Women’s Devotional for Lasting Peace in Busy Life, focuses on a journey to rest even with life’s constant demands.
Visit www.shaunti.com for more.