Today Starts The 30-Day Kindness Challenge! (Day One – Women of CWC)
For all current information about The 30-Day Kindness Challenge, including Shaunti’s new book The Kindness Challenge, please click here.
Today starts The 30-Day Kindness Challenge!
And weeeeee’re off! The starter’s gun has fired and we’re off and running on a thirty day marathon that will lead to some very cool encouragement in our lives and marriages.
Just as a quick review, here’s the race set before us (the 30-Day Kindness Challenge). For the next 30 days:
- We are not going to be saying anything negative about our husband – either to him or about him to someone else. Not to a friend, mother, colleague – zip!
- Each day, we are going to find one thing positive that we can affirm and be grateful for about our husband, and we are going to tell our husband that thing and tell one other person (tell the friend, mom or coworker!)
- Each day, we are going to be doing at least one small act of kindness for our husband.
I hope you’re excited about this, because I sure am. I’ve seen the life change that comes from doing this. (And I appreciate your participation in my research!)
So are you ready to go? Here are three tips for a successful 30-Day Kindness Challenge:
Success Tip #1: Run the race with a partner – or a gaggle!
Grab a friend or four to do this with you. It will be SO much easier if you have friends running this 30-day race alongside.
A few days after I recently mentioned this Challenge at a large church women’s event, the event organizer told me the women in her church were talking about this everywhere — so I KNOW you’ll be able to find some girlfriends to join you once you tell them what it’s about!
Success Tip #2: Notice what your husband sees as negative!
For this to work, you’ll need to pay very, VERY close attention to what your husband or significant other sees as “saying something negative about them.” You may view something as teasing (“You’re never been able to figure out how to handle that colleague of yours!”) that he views as torture (My wife thinks I’m an idiot).
And it is his perception that matters here. After all, most of us don’t say something we think is overtly negative: We know “you’re useless” ain’t gonna go over so well. So we don’t say it. But we do sometimes roll our eyes and say “It drives me nuts when you drive below the speed limit.” Or “I can’t believe he made us late. He was snailing along in the right lane again. As if that will make him a safer driver…”
Now to be clear: The 30-Day Kindness Challenge doesn’t mean we can’t address problems that need to be addressed! But for the next 30 days we are going to focus on being kind. We will discover in a very, very immediate way that it is not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it, that changes everything. (“Honey, I’m so grateful you work so hard to be a safe driver for our family. Thank you for that. At some point, I’d love to talk to you about whether we can start leaving a few minutes earlier, since I get anxious when we’re at risk of being late.”)
Success Tip #3: Try a gift journal for your mate – but write in your own personal journal, too!
For those of you who are interested in taking this a step further: buy a gift journal and in it write your grateful thoughts (your answers to your “one positive thing about your husband”) every single day. Then give it to him on the final day as a very, very special present.
But also… if you have your own personal journal… keep track of what happens this month. Write down what you said and how he responded. Notice and make a note of the things he begins to say. Record the words you used that really made an encouraging difference… and those that, well, required a few penitent prayers!
The more you do this, the more you’ll be teaching yourself what works. And the more you apply what works, the more you will see the 30-Day Kindness Challenge leading you to exactly where you want to be!
With you on the journey….
– Shaunti