There are two types of people in the world: those with the quick zinger and the envious wannabes. I’ve always wished I was more quick-witted at pulling out the perfect sarcastic remark when joking with my friends. But I don’t have the sarcasm gene! Even my attempts to trash talk during family game night are lame.
Recently, though, I’ve seen “the perfect zinger” in a completely different light. The results from the research for my newest book The Kindness Challenge showed that even good-natured sarcasm can take a heavy, secret toll. Not just for the recipient, but surprisingly also for the person making the jokes.
If you naturally tend toward sarcasm here are six reasons to keep the funny bone but cut back on the zingers:
Now, just to be clear: you don’t need to lose your sense of humor. Just use “the gift of the zinger” sparingly. Never, ever be sarcastic about someone else behind their back (that’s a sure way to train yourself to be deliberately cruel). And purposefully look for the positives in a person, not the negatives. You’ll notice a difference in yourself (hello, more joy!), and you’ll notice a difference in the relationships around you.
Do you recognize that perhaps you’ve damaged a relationship with sarcasm? Repair it with kindness. Do the 30-Day Kindness Challenge. During those thirty days, you say nothing negative to or about that person. You withhold all sarcasm, for example. And instead, each day you find something to sincerely praise and tell them, and tell someone else what you are grateful for in that person. You also do one small act of generosity for them.
You’ll be amazed at the results. Not only will it repair your relationship – it will change you.
Want to know how to be kind, when you really don’t want to be? My research uncovered three daily actions that will transform your relationships – and you. Check out The Kindness Challenge, now available!
Shaunti Feldhahn loves sharing eye-opening information that helps people thrive in life and relationships. She herself started out with a Harvard graduate degree and Wall Street credentials but no clue about life. After an unexpected shift into relationship research for average, clueless people like her, she now is a popular speaker and author of best-selling books about men, women and relationships. (Including For Women Only, For Men Only, and the groundbreaking The Good News About Marriage).
Her newest book, The Kindness Challenge demonstrates that kindness is the answer to pretty much every life problem, and is sparking a much-needed movement of kindness across the country. Visit www.shaunti.com for more.