Join us for 30 days of intentional kindness, starting on March 20!
For 30 days, you will:
- Say nothing negative about your person—either to them or about them to someone else. If you must provide negative feedback (for example, to discipline a child or correct a subordinate’s mistake), be constructive and encouraging without a negative tone.
- Every day, find one thing that you can sincerely praise or affirm about your person and tell them—and tell someone else.
- Every day, do one small act of kindness or generosity for them.
Each day, we will post the challenge on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. We will also add them below so you can keep track of what we’re doing together.
Day 1 (Friday, March 20)
Today’s Day #1 of our Raise the Curve on Kindness 30-Day Kindness Challenge!
Ask your person what the best part of their day has been so far. Then, compliment them on their involvement in that event (i.e., You played so nicely with your siblings!; I loved drawing with you during our lunch break; I’m impressed you were able to finish that report in our full house!; That was a great idea to take a family walk!)
Don’t feel bad if this feels strange! We’re in training, much like an athlete. Keep at it. It gets easier every time you do it.
Day 2 (Saturday, March 21)
How did it go yesterday? Did you surprise your person with a compliment?
Today, think of a task or chore your person normally does. Is it emptying the dishwasher? Taking out the trash? Making their bed? Whatever it is, big or small, do it for them and expect nothing in return. If they ask why you are doing it, just tell them you wanted to make their day. (It’s kind of fun watching to see how they react to that!)
Keep up the good work! Little things like this make a BIG difference.
Day 3 (Sunday, March 22)
Think of something that normally drives you crazy about your person. Maybe it’s the amount of time they spend on the computer or playing video games. Maybe it’s their non-stop talk about their favorite podcast or their obsession with color coordinating their closet. Now stop and think of a way you can turn this into a positive interaction between the two of you. For instance, try asking your teenage son to explain how he plays his game. Or ask what their favorite websites might be or to share a favorite meme they found that day. Ask who the latest guest was on their podcast or compliment them on how organized they are with their clothes.
Whatever you normally roll your eyes or nag about, stop and turn it into a positive exchange. You may be surprised at what you learn!
Day 4 (Monday, March 23)
How did the weekend go? Lots of time together and opportunities for kindness, right?!
Today’s goal is to replace any negative thoughts such as “why doesn’t he ever” . . . or “why does she always “. . ..(which are often unrealistic), with thoughts that answer the question: “What is something I love about this person? What is something that is special about them?”
Then, sometime today, tell them what you came up with! For example, “You always make me laugh!” or “You are such a good Dad—these kids are crazy about you and love having you around!” or “I am so impressed with how hard you are working to stay in shape for your sport.” It not only will put a smile on their face but it will also remind you why you love and value this person in your life.
Tell us how you’re doing so far! Share a story about how you are “Raising the Curve on Kindness” in your home, and use the hashtag #JoinKindness2020 in your post.
Day 5 (Tuesday, March 24)
We’re almost done with our first week of “Raising the Curve on Kindness!” Way to go!
Today’s challenge is simple. Think about something special that will make your person’s day. Is it making a cup of coffee or tea—just how they like it—before they can get to the kitchen? What about leaving out a favorite snack with a note for them saying you thought they could use a treat? Even though you might be giving them something small, it most likely will make them feel very loved and appreciated.
Don’t forget to share your stories! Use the hashtag #JoinKindness2020 in your post.
Day 6 (Wednesday, March 25)
Ready for today’s challenge? If your person (or people) are your kids, think back to a time when they were younger and you gave them choices. This works remarkably well for older children too! Instead of telling them to mow the lawn or clean up their room immediately, give them options instead. For instance, “Would you rather mow the lawn now or wait until after dinner? It’s your pick!”
If your person is not a child, try this instead: Commit to not arguing with them today. Unless it’s something life-or-business-altering, defer to them. You can politely and positively let them know that although you might do it differently, you’re willing to do it their way. No need to get into an argument if it’s just a matter of preference. And trust me, it will be a big dose of kindness for them today!
Day 7 (Thursday, March 26)
Congratulations on making it to the end of Week 1! How have things been going so far? Have you noticed any differences in your relationship?
Today we’re going to focus on really hearing and listening to our person’s feelings. Suddenly finding ourselves working or studying from home can lead to some legitimate discouragement and frustration! Instead of ignoring the people in your home when they express their feelings, really listen and engage. You could say for example, “It sounds like it’s hard to study for that exam when you haven’t heard the teacher lecture on it in person. Is there something I can do to help you prepare?” Or “ know working from home with the kids around is not ideal. Will you let me know when you have an important call and I’ll make sure to take the kids on a walk so they don’t disturb you?”
Your person will appreciate that you’ve seen and heard their concerns and want to help. We’re all in this together! And because you’ve taken a moment to really listen, they’ll know you’re on their team. #JoinKindness2020
Day 8 (Friday, March 27)
Loneliness. It’s a feeling that is becoming more real as we find ourselves several weeks into our “social distancing” . . . and facing many more to come. Yes, we are finding ourselves together in close proximity to our family, but let’s also recognize that our person (or people) are most likely missing their friends, colleagues, gym buddies, Bible study members, church community, etc. Today’s focus is on how we can help them feel less lonely!
Can you set up a video call for your child to have an online playdate with a friend? What about creating a virtual meetup with your small group? Maybe schedule a FaceTime dinner date with your best friends? Look for ways to connect your person with whomever they are missing. It will make a big difference in their day!
Day 9 (Saturday, March 28)
Yesterday we talked about how these are times when discouragement or frustration can easily sneak in. Today is the day to look for ways to cheer your person up! Try scrolling through the pictures in your phone and relive some of your special or funny memories. Laugh about silly moments when the kids were younger or that favorite vacation you took together. Flip through actual photo albums and laugh at your outdated clothes and hairstyles. Tell stories of when you were little, when you were dating or about your wedding. You might be surprised at how fun this activity is–not only for your person, but also for you! There’s something nice about remembering “the good old days!”
Day 10 (Sunday, March 29)
Accountability check: How are you doing in refraining from saying anything negative? Think back over the last few days and see if you’ve accidentally said anything negative to your person (or about them!) and identify where you might’ve slipped up.
Today’s challenge is to go out of your way to express gratitude for something they’e done. If it’s your spouse, they may be surprised to hear these positive words out of your mouth–especially if things have gotten tense with all the time spent together. Think about saying something like, “Thank you so much for volunteering to go to the grocery store this week. I know it’s a big job.” Or leave a note thanking them for something you normally might take for granted.
If it’s your child (or children), realize they probably don’t hear appreciative comments very often. We parents tend to inundate them with instructions and corrections rather than pointing out the great things they are doing (even if we expect it of them!) Tell them you appreciate them helping put the dishes away or how they asked their younger sibling to shoot baskets in the driveway. Let them know you see them and recognize the things they do for the family.
Everyone loves to be caught doing something good—even if it’s everyday stuff! Be the one to catch it and acknowledge it. It will blow them away!
Day 11 (Monday, March 30)
Happy Monday! It’s the start of a fresh, new week!
Today’s challenge is easy—email or text a fun meme (there seems to be no shortage of those these days!) or an article that your person might find interesting. Let them know you were thinking about them and thought they might enjoy a laugh or appreciate an article about their favorite public figure, book or dream vacation. Sometimes it’s the little gestures that make people feel important. Remember, we’re getting ourselves in the habit of showing an act of kindness every day—big or small!
Keep up the good work! It’s making a difference!
Day 12 (Tuesday, March 31)
Everyone looks in the mirror and has insecurities—either about their appearance or about whether they measure up at work, at home, or in their relationships. What is something your person might be worried about? Today, say something that will encourage them in that area. Do they need to hear how proud you are that they’ve been working so hard on their latest project? Do they need to hear how beautiful they are, inside and out? Let them know you notice them and think they’re amazing.
Day 13 (Wednesday, April 1)
It’s a brand new day—and a brand new month!—to focus on kindness! How’s it going so far?
Stop and think about how your person typically shows kindness to others? Are they helpers—do they jump at the opportunity to assist others with tasks? Or are they good listeners? Or do they love to give hugs or an encouraging word? Take note of this because it’s most likely a way they would appreciate kindness being shown to them. If they’re helpers, do a small task or chore for them that they would otherwise do themselves. If they are encouragers, leave them a note with something that will lift their spirits. Or if they are affectionate, give them a hug in the middle of the day. Whatever their everyday mode of dispensing kindness may be, give it right back to them.