Posts Tagged "Listening"

Think Before You Ask: The Statements Your Questions Make

Think Before You Ask: The Statements Your Questions Make

Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature.  Or at least he used to.  Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it.  He shuts down so easily.  Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate disloyalty.   For example, our landlord…read more →

Drama-Free Guarantee: Talking to Teenage Boys

Drama-Free Guarantee: Talking to Teenage Boys

Dear Shaunti, My oldest son is having a tough first year of high school – leaving his old friends, trying to make new ones, and dealing with some unfair teachers. I’m thankful that at least he’s talking to us about these struggles (I was worried that he wouldn’t) but when he explains the latest issue, all we get is the…read more →

Gain Respect By Being Direct

Gain Respect By Being Direct

Dear Shaunti, How do I get my wife to not play games, and just share what she’s thinking? Two days ago, we dropped off our youngest child at college, so my wife and I planned two days of empty-nester sightseeing on the way back. Yesterday was fine, but this morning, my wife seemed down, but she wouldn’t tell me why….read more →

Worn Out from Worry: How Can I Help My Wife Stop Obsessing?

Worn Out from Worry: How Can I Help My Wife Stop Obsessing?

Dear Shaunti, I love my wife, but it drives me crazy when she obsesses over something minor, like whether she forgot to send in the money for our son’s field trip, or whether her friend is mad at her because she didn’t return a call. I’ve tried to get her to see that it is making her crazy, too, but…read more →

Want to Fix Your Wife’s Problem? Step 1: Listen. Step 2: Repeat.

Want to Fix Your Wife’s Problem? Step 1: Listen. Step 2: Repeat.

Dear Shaunti, My girlfriend tells me all the time that “I don’t want you to fix it; I just want you to listen!” But that’s after I’ve been listening for 10 minutes! Seriously? –Confused Dear Confused, That’s what my husband thought too! Jeff thought “listening” meant to just let me talk about whatever was on my mind, sit there and…read more →

She Would Rather Have Your Ear

She Would Rather Have Your Ear

When we conducted a national survey of women for our book, For Men Only, my husband Jeff and I learned that one of the highest felt needs for many women was for their husbands to listen to them.  Now, every guy has heard, ‘she doesn’t want you to fix it, she just wants you to listen.’ Most recently, this point…read more →

What Men Need Most From the Woman They Love

What Men Need Most From the Woman They Love

While we women enjoy hearing our man tell us “I love you” often to reassure us of his love, men are not affected by hearing us say, “Honey, I respect you” but they do love to hear things like “I’m so proud of you” and “I trust you.”  But signaling respect to our man goes far beyond those few words. …read more →

Feeling Disrespected Evokes Anger in Men

Feeling Disrespected Evokes Anger in Men

Ladies, if you think crying when feeling unloved is an acceptable response during a relational conflict, would you be surprised to know that anger is often a man’s response to feeling disrespected during relational conflict?  Pause and let that sink in. Before we clobber the guys about the need for Anger Management 101 let’s put this in perspective.  We feel…read more →

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