Personal Life and Relationships

Personal Life and Relationships

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Because my findings about the opposite sex are so eye-opening, I enjoy that these talks usually spark intense water-cooler conversation – and relationship conversations — for weeks afterward! I have also been extremely grateful for the many stories I’ve heard about marriages that were transformed simply because one spouse learned something life-changing about the other person, and decided to apply it.

Topics include:

Understanding the Inner Lives of Men

Based on the research for Shaunti’s book For Women Only, and rich with quotes and examples from surveys and interviews with over 1,500 men, this is a candid, and fascinating, talk. It opens the eyes of women to things that they never understood before, and helps and challenges them to support the men in their lives (husbands, boyfriends, sons, even colleagues) in the way that they need. This talk honors men, and is often described as giving men and women a common language to talk about things that men deeply wished women knew. It is geared for singles as well as for married women, and is also a good “crossover” talk for inviting women who are not familiar with church events. It is effective in multiple formats, including:

  • A closed-door “girlfriends only” talk, such as a women’s conference, retreat or Ladies Night Out.
  • An interview with a male interviewer.
  • Note: This male-interviewer format has proven to be a unique and valuable format in certain settings, as it is interesting for women to see the validation of these truths coming from the male leader asking the questions.
  • As one part of a marriage conference, paired with the men’s topic about understanding women.
  • As a talk for co-ed or women’s-only college chapel service.
  • With or without a Question-and-Answer time. (Q&A is extremely valuable for events that have more than 45 minutes available.)


Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages

Whether you’ve been together 5 months or 50 years your relationship is sensational or struggling…  Learn the little habits that make a BIG  difference.
 The “Only” series opened the eyes of men and women to the surprises they didn’t “get” about the opposite sex. Based on Shaunti’s brand-new research study and book, The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages, in this message Shaunti shares the process of what makes the happiest relationships so happy –  the little, unexpected, often overlooked actions that make a huge difference.  For example, believe it or not, highly happy couples:

• go to bed mad

• keep score

• boss their feelings around

• have factual fantasies

• don’t tell it like it is

• don’t look to marriage to make them happy

Single or married, this message is packed with simple, practical, eye-opening surprises that transform
 any relationship! 

Promotion clip for The Surprising Secrets of Highly Happy Marriages

A Simple Guide to the Inner Lives of Women

Believe it or not, it is easier than men ever thought, to understand the woman in their life and make her happy. Based on the research and the findings in Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn’s book For Men Only, including a scientific national survey, this talk demonstrates to men that women are not random and that they can have peace in their home, giving men the simple “how-to’s” that they are asking for. And as Jeff says, “Thankfully, its not rocket science. Its just about understanding a few simple things that most guys just don’t know.” This talk can be given by either Shaunti or Jeff or both together, and is also effective in multiple formats, including:

  • An interview format, either alone or in conjunction with the “Understanding Men” topic, as described above.
  • A men’s conference
  • As one part of a couples’ conference, paired with the “Understanding Men” topic, above. It can be handled either in a closed-door, men-only format, or in the larger group with the women present.
  • With or without Question and Answer time.

Clip from the topic of how women process thoughts related to the book For Men Only

Helping Your Man Understand You

Yes, this is a talk for women about the findings in For Men Only. It lets women in on the secret of what her man probably doesn’t “get” about her, and shows her how to respectfully help him understand those truths, in his language. This talk opens women’s eyes to things they may not have been able to articulate about themselves, and helps them realize that their husband isn’t “just being insensitive” — he probably simply doesn’t know these truths. This is effective as either:

  • Its own women’s event, especially if Understanding men has already been covered in a previous event, or
  • As one part of a longer women’s event, paired with the topic about Understanding Men, above.

Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid (a Talk for Parents)

For every confused parent, there’s a kid who is longing to be understood — and parents will leave this talk — based on interviews and surveys of more than 1,200 teens for Shaunti’s book For Parents Only: Getting Inside the Head of Your Kid — feeling like they understand and can relate to their child so much better. What is behind those exasperating ‘attitudes,’ crazy choices, and desire to question everything the family believes in? The answers — and insight for what to do about it — all relate to what is going on in the inner life of the child. Parents who understand these surprising truths will feel much more able to confidently relate to their kid. (Note: These apply most immediately in the pre-teen and teen years, but parents of younger children — including the speaker — have found them invaluable in laying a good foundation early.) This talk can be given by Shaunti or in combination with Lisa Rice, and is effective in multiple formats, including:

  • A stand-alone talk or conference for parents, women or couples
  • As one portion of a parenting, women’s or couple’s conference
  • As a talk for parents, at a youth conference
  • An interview format, as described above.
  • With or without Question and Answer time.

Sample speaking clip on the topic of freedom related to the For Parents Only book

The World’s Gone Crazy, But I Don’t Have To: The Biblical Secret to Life, Love and Contentment

From stay-at-home moms to globe-trotting executives, young singles to seniors, every modern woman has wondered, “How on earth do I juggle it all?”  Shaunti Feldhahn certainly did!  A best-selling author, researcher and speaker, as well as a mom to two young, active kids and wife to her husband Jeff, she was wearing herself out, driving soccer runs or chaperoning field trips one hour and jumping on an airplane the next.   She, too, wondered how to balance life.  It turns out, there is a biblical answer to that question — and one that is wonderfully unique and different for every wonderfully unique woman!  Based on her new book and Bible study, The Life Ready Woman,  discover the individual blueprint that God has provided every one of us for finding a life of balance, peace and delight instead of the often stressed, torn, am-I-doing-enough life that we often experience today.