Resources

Sex & Romance


3 Things Underneath Your Husband’s Desire for Sex

Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud: 1. “I need to feel desirable.”  We women may think sex is just a physical need for a guy, but that’s not most of what is going on. When his wife responds to him – or initiates it herself! – it meets a deep emotional need to feel that his wife…read more →

3 ways viewing porn harms your wife

Men, in more than a dozen years of research about how guys privately think about things like sex and porn use, I’ve seen a striking pattern. Although nearly all men are visually tempted today, and many hate and struggle against the temptation, most of those same men also think of it as a private thing that has nothing to do…read more →

Why the “Married Sex” Video Makes Me Furious

Recently, someone asked what I think about the “Married Sex During the Week” video posted on Facebook and chortled about on social media. Have you seen it? Some women think it’s hysterical. I haven’t found a single man who does. And this vast difference points just how clueless we women can be about something that has a huge emotional impact on…read more →

3 reasons why you should initiate sex with your husband

Although this article is for women, I’m sure some astonished men are looking in, and asking, “What do you mean why you should initiate sex?!”   To guys, the answer is completely obvious!  It reminds me of that line from the movie City Slickers when Billy Crystal’s character tells his friend, “Women need a reason to have sex.  Men just…read more →

When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive; Part Three

This is the third and final article in a 3-part series written by Christian Sex Therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, offering hope, encouragement, and direction to wives who have a stronger sexual drive than their husbands.  In Part One and Part Two, Dr. Sytsma pointed out that wives with a stronger sexual drive than their husbands will need to prepare to…read more →

When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive; Part Two

This is the second of three articles in a series written by Christian Sex Therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, offering hope, encouragement, and direction to wives who have a stronger sexual drive than their husbands.  In Part One, Dr. Sytsma encouraged these women to first create a good environment for communication, make sure they are managing their own expectations, and not…read more →

When She Has the Stronger Sex Drive; Part One

Ladies, if YOU are the one with the stronger sex drive, here’s expert hope and help! Hi everyone. I’m thrilled to share a series of three important guest articles by nationally-recognized sex therapist Dr. Michael Sytsma, offering hope, encouragement, and direction to wives who have a stronger sexual drive than their husbands – a situation that probably happens in one…read more →

Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud

Welcome to the weekly list at Ask Shaunti! Each Wednesday, join me as I share a few of the little, eye-opening things about men, women, and relationships that make a big difference in marriages and families. Your husband wants sex? 3 things he’s not saying out loud: 1. “I need to feel desirable.”  We women may think sex is just a…read more →

Getting Over the Fear of Lingerie

I spend a lot of time talking about lingerie. A lot. As a speaker and author, most of my job consists of going around the country and encouraging women to do scary things. Like tackle their clutter, or have that hard conversation with their kids. And for some, the scariest thing I ask them to do is to put on…read more →

Lackluster Sex Life? Be a Flirt!

Dear Shaunti, My husband and I were both pretty sexually inexperienced when we first got married, so everything about our sex life was new, mysterious and exciting.  But now we have two teenagers and we both work full-time.  When we find the time for physical intimacy, it feels very forced. Like we’re just going through the motions.  And that old…read more →

Should I Pray For God to Make Me More … Um … Amorous?

Dear Shaunti, Since sex is so important to my husband, and since you say it’s really about a man feeling desired by his wife, what can I do to get engaged and interested instead of just “accommodating” him? I know that just “going along with it” would be pretty depressing for him. But to be honest, I don’t feel that…read more →