Resources

His Need for Respect


I trusted him and he disappointed me

Dear Shaunti, You and a lot of others talk about how much men need to feel respected and trusted.  So I trusted him.  And it blew up in my face.  My husband, Hank, and I own a travel business.  I am organized and like things done a certain way – and that way usually works.   And Hank is a very…read more →

How Do I Cope With My Super-Sensitive Husband?

Dear Shaunti: My husband is great at many things, but sometimes he struggles with getting a new task accomplished.  Like, he’s great at carpentry, but it might take him two or three days to figure out how to create a new type of bookcase I want for the kids’ bedroom.  But when I offer an opinion or suggest a solution,…read more →

Think Before You Ask: The Statements Your Questions Make

Dear Shaunti: I just got married to a great guy who has always loved my inquisitive, problem-solving nature.  Or at least he used to.  Lately, he has been getting more and more annoyed with it.  He shuts down so easily.  Or if I ask a simple question he acts as if it is the ultimate disloyalty.   For example, our landlord…read more →

Solving Grumpy Guy

Dear Shaunti: My husband is an involved dad, a leader at our church, the type of guy people look to for advice, and he goes over and above his requirements on the job.  But he is often grumpy and withdrawn at home.   He gets upset at the littlest things I say.  He seems to think I’m hard to please, but…read more →

His Temper May Be Fiery, But Your Criticism Is Explosive Fuel

Dear Shaunti: My husband has an anger problem, and I don’t know how to handle it. We’ve always had “intense discussions,” but lately he’s been getting furious and walking away. Last night, we got into a fight on our way out of a restaurant, just because I told him that he shouldn’t have eaten so much, and he definitely shouldn’t…read more →

My Way or the Highway: Be Careful What You Wish For

Dear Shaunti,  My husband says I always want things my way. And he’s right to a certain extent because, honestly, in my mind, there are just right and wrong ways to do things. The house simply should be neat instead of messy. Is that too much to ask? Or no, he shouldn’t let the kids spread their homework all over…read more →

Check Yourself as a Mate: Being a Wife Instead of a Boss

Dear Shaunti, My husband runs his own construction business, and even though he’s in charge it really does feel like “our” business in most ways. I used to be in the industry, so I know the market. And I’ve been very supportive of him dipping into our personal finances to personally pay our staff when things have been tight. He…read more →

Wives, invest in your husband by saying “thank you.”

Tip #34: Wives, invest in your husband by saying “thank you.”  Every day, our men wake up and head out to “conquer” the world. Or, rather, the worlds of work, finances, home, school, kids’ activities, sports… We think we understand that, right? Turns out, we don’t. Not quite. Because in his mind, it isn’t about “juggling” everything. Instead, every one…read more →

Marriage Monday: Avoid Painful Disrespect by Thinking Ahead

Marriage Tip: Wives, since processing your husband’s decisions out loud can sometimes come across as painful disrespect or questioning his judgment, think in advance about how to say it so he doesn’t misunderstand what you are saying. Has your husband ever gotten upset when you start talking through a suggestion he’s brought to you? Yeah? Me too! It may be…read more →